People whom I care about have contacted me regarding my last post about my feelings of being dragged into petty Facebook wars and the subsequent gossipy, back-bitey fallout when women get their feelings hurt and put their claws out. Someone whom I am close to and work with could face lasting consequences if I don’t swallow crow and make it go away. While I still have lingering hard feelings, I’m going to protect this person, and not use my platform to make her life harder. Let me be clear: I’m doing this for her, because I don’t believe that she expected that a blog post could have a ripple effect, turning friends into enemies and inciting petty dramas.
I will say this. My decision to discontinue my personal Facebook page was not predicated on one single event, but a multitude of events over years and years that I have finally grown tired of. I want to live a good life, and do good things. I want to help black women, not hurt them. In kind, I don’t want to have to open my veins every time someone feels like singling me out. I am a human being with feelings. Actions have consequences, and that truth goes for me as well.
Let it go in the final record that the origins of this mess–a post that Misee Harris wrote on her opinion about the alleged Bill Cosby rape victims–is diametrically in opposition to my own views. I thought it was hurtful and cavalier, and I told her so privately before I said as much publicly. The issue that transpired was never about me defending an alleged rapist and remaining silent. That said, I’m not going to be bullied into participating in some social media lynch mob to drag her just because you say I should. My issue was that people whom I thought were friends used a forum to call me out publicly, state a position, and give fodder to people whom they knew sniff around for blood every time there is any controversy surrounding me because they have an persistent and virulent hatred for me. I deeply resent being dragged into social media dramas, and have to work really hard to keep my feelings in check, because again, people think I’m not supposed to have any.
Finally, I’m hoping that we all find some peace this holiday season. Closing my personal page was the first step. Gossips, please get hobbies. Grow a garden. Read some books. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Don’t let your entire existence and entertainment be about watching the pain and misfortune of others.