Guests of the Inner Sanctum

Expert Online ‘Gamer’ Dishes on How to Spot Losers Dating Online

Rico-Ricardo (that’s my nickname for him) and I have a…”complicated” relationship. It’s because he’s like two people. The guy I know and chat on the phone with is very smart, businesslike, well-spoken and clever. His other self, his online self, is a wolfish sort who knows enough game about online dating that he wrote four books about it.

But I think there’s a lot to be learned from ‘The Wolf’ of Rico, so I asked he to share the top five signs you’re chatting with a rat. Consider this advice your e-arsenic poison. This piece is geared more towards the younger, lurking crew, because us grown folks know better.


Tips on Avoiding the Top Five Losers You’ll Meet Online
By Your Royal Flyness, Author and Dating Coach

Every woman has a girlfriend or knows of someone who had a bad online dating experience. If not, it was probably you.

Unwelcome advances include random friend requests, Facebook pokes, and creepy notes from less than desirable men. This is becoming an epidemic! The few men that pass the test and make it to the date normally end up being a total waste of time.

As an online dating coach and author, I’ve heard it all. Ladies, you are not alone. Scores of you are having issues with a plethora of losers on the internet.

Please refer to this article before dismissing online dating altogether. I’m here to put you up on some game. This article will show you how to recognize and avoid the top five losers you’ll come across online. Here we go:

1. The “Fake” Flosser
The Fake Flosser is the type of guy who overcompensates for his lack of finances. It isn’t hard spotting this type of man. While he might look good in front of the luxury car in his profile photo, be on the lookout for an overabundance of “flossy” behavior. This includes status updates like, “About to go for a spin in my 2012 SL Mercedes” or “I just spent $5,000.00 on this new watch!” The fake flosser makes himself feel better about his dire situation by trying to make others believe he is “ballin out of control”. Normally, men who are really pulling in some serious cash aren’t shouting it out from the rooftops. Don’t fall for his tricks, else you may be picking up the tab when his card gets declined at dinner!

2. Thirsty Men
The term “thirsty” refers to anyone who acts out of total desperation. Unfortunately, the internet is a cesspool of Thirsty Men! If only there were enough Sprites to go around! This is the type of guy who will stop at nothing to try to get your number and fails to recognize your rejection! The key is to recognize this type of man and avoid him like the plague!

You are dealing with this type of man if he replies to your notes too quickly. If he responds to your messages within seconds of you sending him one, that’s a tell-tale sign of desperation. Secondly, thirsty men go above and beyond the call of duty to try and attract women—this includes taking shirtless photos and flexing in a camera phone picture. He is hoping that his muscles will overcompensate for his lack of confidence. Lastly, watch for men who insist that you friend/follow him on Facebook or Twitter. If you take his lead, he will eventually beg you for a date, for sex, and eventually for marriage. This one is hard to shake so be careful, ladies.

3. The Wannabe “Player”
The truth is, most guys know the power of internet dating. They have realized that they can literally initiate contact with hundreds of women per day and think they can tip the odds in their favor by messaging women from sun up to sun down. Watch out for these guys.

The Wannabe Player is the type of guy who will send the same message to 200 women without regard. His goal is getting ass. Period. If you don’t reply, he didn’t notice. He is playing the numbers. To avoid this guy, look out for messages which contain extremely general language, like “Hey what’s up beautiful? I love your profile. Let’s get to know each other ;)” Secondly, avoid guys who are online friends with a bunch of big-breasted, stripper types. In most cases, he doesn’t know them and is wishing on a star—a pornstar, that is. Lastly, look through his timeline and status updates for his exchanges with other women. Most men are extremely sloppy in their “player pursuits”.

4. The Junkie
Next is the Junkie—the guy who’s logged in 24/7, 365. He posts about everything from the weather, his emotions, down to what he’s cooking for dinner. There’s no discretion in his posts. While this is sometimes entertaining, keep in mind that someone who is addicted to social media probably doesn’t have a life. And when someone doesn’t have a life, it can be hard to communicate with him on a social level.

To avoid the Junkie, look out for extremely fancy layouts. This is a sign that he is all about his profile and may not have time for anything else. Also watch for constant status updates about his every move. A date with him will likely be all over his timeline as well!

5. The Rest of his Clique
You know the phrase, “birds of a feature flock together?” This is exactly what I mean. Take a look at the guys he identifies as his friends. An easy way to do this is to see who he tags in his Facebook photos or take note of the guys he continuously messages through Twitter. Losers often find comfort in the company of other losers. Always scrutinize his friends to verify whether your first impression of him is accurate or faulty.

Now ladies, there are indeed great men both offline and online! In fact, I highly recommend using the internet for dating. While people have had some success through eHarmony and, I am a bigger proponent of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, as well as Yet the key to finding quality suitors is knowing what to look for and what to avoid! Please check out my site at and read some free excerpts of “From MySpace To My Place: The Ladies’ Guide to Finding Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now Online” for some tips on meeting men online. One-on-one coaching is also available.

Good luck in cyberspace and dodge those losers.

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