So you asked, so I delivered. “Filter the Freaks” is our new vetting series (I won’t use the word “vet,” because it reminds me of the folks who put those little cones around Rover’s neck) in which I’ve lined up a stable of thoroughbred experts that will come to our place and a give advice and insight into how not to choose a complete assjack. It’ll come once, sometimes twice a week, depending on which kid agrees to play in the closet whilst I’m interviewing. By the way, you’ll hear The Babster make an appearance on the audio. She wanted to weigh in.
My first guest, Donna Anderson is the author of Love Fraud — How Marriage to a Sociopath Fulfilled My Spiritual Plan, with a follow up book coming next year to help women identify the key signs of a sociopath.
So, what’s a sociopath, anyway? Dictionary says…
a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience
Take a look at those last few words, “lack of conscience,” and that about boils it down to the sauce. Sociopaths are not crazy–they are quite sane.
They just don’t feel.
Imagine that. Piano falls on someone’s head as the sociopath walks past, he/she just walks over and plays “Mary Had a Little Lamb” with the reminder of the keys. Or how about this: The sociopath hones in on someone of the opposite sex they feel can benefit them in some way–usually sexually or financially–pretends to be the man/woman the victim has always dreamed about, says the right things, does the right things, and then the target is hooked. The victim gets their nose ring fitted, and the sociopath begins to turn into who he/she really is, cruel and emotionally (and many times physically) abusive. You spend the next five years wondering what the cuss you did to make him/her change while you chase the dragon–you want things back the way they were.
Well, you can forget that. That dude/dudette was never that person to begin with. They’re chameleons, masters of disguise, and lords of illusion.
I wanted to talk to Donna about how to spot and avoid a sociopath, but the problem is, they’re so dang good at what they do, you often don’t realize it until it’s too late. Then you have the Herculean task of trying to free yourself from the crazy.