He takes you to a five-star hotel and whispers to the concierge before you go into the room. You have drinks and he won’t take his eyes–almost predatory–off of you. The hotel employee gives him the signal and you enter the room and there’s champagne on ice and chocolate strawberries. He pours you a glass. Puts the strawberry in your mouth. Pulls down your undergarments and does things with his mouth you never knew could be done. The strawberries drop. Then your panties. And then your guard.
Have you ever met a woman who stayed with a man who treated her terribly–called her the worst names you could ever call a woman, was a serial cheater, perhaps even emotionally and physically abused her–and she still stayed with him? And when you asked she would reply, “I love him, and the sex is amazing.”
Therein lies the power of the sociopath, the student of human nature who lacks all humanity. He knows sex better than any mere mortal man, because he uses it to acquire complete and total power over his quarry–his victim. The sources you see come from a site called, Psychopathy Awareness. Remember ladies, knowledge is power. Sociopaths come is all colors, genders, races and creeds. No group is immune.
So what makes a sociopath–a person devoid of any meaningful emotions besides anger, fear and jealousy–so good at one of the most emotional acts you can do?
The sociopath is a master seducer. At the beginning, you are EVERYTHING. You are the only woman in the world, and the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. His intense stares seems to bore deep into your soul. The attention is flattering, and his awe for you and his ability to “just know” what you need is uncanny. He knows your deepest inner needs and desires, and fulfills them totally. You think you’ve found the perfect man (it will be the thing that you later cling to and try to recapture when it all goes wrong). But what you don’t know is that the sociopath’s objective is to seduce you so quickly and so completely that you will be his–heart, mind and soul. Later, when the sociopath tires of you, he’ll begin to tear down what he has built up. You were once his queen, and later you will be nothing but a dirty whore.
It may seem exciting to play erotic games or to talk in a raunchy manner. But, over time, this behavior begins to feel strange and uncomfortable. What’s worse, it also becomes normative, since psychopaths enjoy controlling you. They tell you how to dress and what to do or say to please them. They tell you what make-up to wear or to wear no make-up at all. Some psychopaths instruct women to dress very modestly, to cover themselves practically from head to toe, so that they won’t tempt other men. Others, on the contrary, prefer that their women dress provocatively even in public, to demean them and satisfy their penchant for transgression. Many psychopaths engage in rape and other forms of domestic violence. Even giving you pleasure gives them a sense of power.
At first you believe your beloved is so enamored by you that he simply can’t get enough. He’s ready anytime, and anywhere. His impulsivity, passion and spontaneity is so dizzying, and you can hardly keep up. You wonder where he gets the energy. But really, sociopaths lack humanity. They don’t feel in the same what we do. They require very high levels of stimulation to be entertained and occupied. The sky dive. They bungee jump. The take big risks on Wall Street with other people’s money. They have lots and lots and lots of sex with many, many, many people.
We want to be desired as sex objects but also loved and appreciated as individuals. Unfortunately, psychopaths can’t deliver both. Of course, they often convincingly fake feelings of love in the beginning. But, fundamentally, they can only view and treat you as a sex object that increasingly loses its appeal over time. After the honeymoon phase ends, there’s no real sense of individuality with psychopaths. Sexual partners are interchangeable to them.You’re placed in constant competition with other women. As we know, psychopaths constantly seek new “opportunities” to fulfill their insatiable desires. They’re always ready to “upgrade.” To compensate for the fact that you may be exchanged for a newer, younger, hotter, richer or simply different model at any point in the relationship, you need to do more and more things to satisfy the psychopath. Which is exactly what he wants from you in the first place: a total capitulation to his will.
Sociopaths seem at first to be free spirits. They want sex on the beach. In the office closet. On a rooftop building. All of it is like a movie come to life…this amazing man who will sweep you away with no inhibitions. You still have yours, but he quickly convinces you of the “rightness” of it all, the fantasy that you and he are meant to be. He makes you believe that the reason he is so free with his love is because of you. But really, it’s because he is shameless. He has no fear.
One nefarious reason the sociopath wants you to participate in his “ambitious” sexual fantasies is to one day hold them against you. He’ll use the fact that he’s convinced you to sleep with him in the church prayer room as proof that you’re the whore he always suspected you were. He’ll use the naughty pictures he took of you against you if you ever try to leave before he’s finished with you, because the sociopath’s only goal is to win at all costs.
The sociopath’s goal is simple: They want to own you. They will do whatever is necessary to achieve that end. They come on strong, and as students of human behavior, quickly learn what it is that you need, and give it to you. The give you so much so that you’ll fall so hard. And once you fall, no one will be there to catch you. Because when you fall hard, you’ll hurt yourself, break something, or even kill yourself. The sociopath builds you up so that they can tear you down. It’s a game. He wants you to feel shitty so you’ll spend your days trying to fix what’s “wrong” with you so that you can get back into his good graces, so that “light” will shine on you again. Problem is, that light was just a hat trick…a bait and switch.
So the next time you meet someone who seems too good to be true, chances are he probably is.