Friday Funny: Christmas Will Bankrupt Us.

The Christmas season arrived this year in my house around mid October. The tell-tale sign was when I heard Zachary– the skinniest five-year-old on the planet because he refuses to eat–sing the traditional hymnal of The Small and the Greedy: “Iwaagitdat!”

In case you didn’t catch it, “Iwaagitdat” is Zach-cretion for “I want to get that.” And by “that,” he means EVERYTHING. He calls the Toy R’ Us Holiday Catalog his “newspaper” then goes off to get his pipe and smoking jacket for some relaxing reading around the fire whilst sipping just a splash of brandy.

After that, you can hear him chiming this phrase in every room in the house with a television during Spongebob, Olivia, or Max and Ruby. He does this even if there’s no one there to hear him. Because SANTA’S listening.

Did you hear in the video how he wants a lot of stuff but just can’t remember what? I can only hope that depth of short term memory loss will work to my benefit.

Wait–Zachary yelled out a succession of Iwaagitdats just now. He wants a Transformer, Legos, a child-sized Hummer, a race track, and Tampax tampons.

Lately the older ones have been making a joke of it. They yelp Iwaagitdat if they see anything remotely interesting enough to play with for more than five minutes and also made in China. As I write, Chloe just sat down next to me and said Iwaagitdat three times during one Barbie commercial. Let’s see. As of today, the tally for Iwaagitdat items will cost me about $312,654.87.

Then she asks me, “Mommy why do we need commercials?”

Merry Christmas.

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