So I have this goal to read all classic American literature (you know, those books your high school English teacher made you read but you didn’t and just bought the Cliff’s Notes) and just finished Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Basically the book is about an upstanding, affluent and ageing doctor who wished he could give into his base desires and seek the hedonistic pleasures that Victorian society strictly forbade. So he mixes up some salts –a little bit of this, a sprinkle of that–they get all fizzy, and he turns into Mr. Hyde, who is basically the hate child of Jon Gosselin and Ted Bundy.

I got to thinking, if I could drink some fizzy stuff and split my good and respectable self (BWAH!) with my inner badassnaughtychick, what would be the first thing I would do?

If at all humanly possible, I would organize my calendar around boinking various contemporary Greek-god icons, dirty, pirate-looking dudes, but mostly I would arrange an elaborate kidnapping scheme to snatch him:

him…

and finally, if I could also devise a time machine, and snag the young version of him:

So ladies, it’s your turn. If you could tap into your inner Ms. Hyde, who would you boink?