Funny Friday: Funny Excuses to Have Kids With No Daddy!

OMG I’m going to get in trouble for this. But IT IS SO FUNNY I just can’t resist. Let’s have some fun! I’ve had to be all professional, speaking all proper (wait, I always do that), adding vodka to my coffee and vitamin mix just to trudge through all the misinformation and out and out lies. I’m getting so much push back for No Wedding No Womb!, that I GASP! call into question our complete dismissal of the 72% out-of-wedlock problem, AND HOW DARE I! SO WHAT IF YOU WERE A SINGLE MOTHER, THE WHITE MAN IS YOUR SAVIOR!, people on the #NWNW Twitter hastag, I’m in desperate need for comic relief.

So..I’ll start. Let’s brainstorm (I mean, REALLY, REALLY search for it) on the BENEFITS of having fatherless kids running around the creation like feral cats:

  • It’s MY RIGHT to have a baby! F%@k a man! I want legislation IMMEDIATELY so that it is no longer necessary to have a penis to create sperm! I DEMAND FUNDING FOR RESEARCH!
  • OMG! You’re so anti-feminist! Don’t you know women can work twelve hours a day, come home at 7:55 PM to cookdinnerrushthroughhomeworkputthekidstobed with ease? It’s about Quality time, Not QUANTITY! So what if I spend 30 minutes a day with my kids! They’re BREATHING, aren’t they?

Okay; your turn. Fire away!

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