Black Women's Improvement Project (BWIP)

How The “No One Will Want You” Hoodwinking is a Form of Abuse

Perhaps I’m simmering like a whale about to spew out of its blowhole, but there’s a little burr in my butt putting my panties into a wedge, so I think it’s high time to address a notion (did I say notion? I meant, outright LIES, LIES, LIIIIIIESSSS!!!) that some black people keep trying to stuff down our throats.

No doubt you’ve heard it before. “No white man will want you.” “You’re just a jungle-fever fetish.” “The man will never marry you.”

But now faced with growing evidence that rainbeaus DO WANT us, then the NEW propaganda goes to a rationalization that the non-black dude who loves a black woman is either crazy, broke, or damaged. He can’t possibly be highly-educated, or have gone to one of the top 50 universities in the United States. He can’t possibly make six figures and buy his black wife a 3,300 square foot house that she stays home in. Oh! But if he did, he must be fat or ugly.

And it’s not just black women participating in this soul-killing. Here’s a quote from Madame Noire from a black woman who’s just trying to ‘keep it real’:

“Don’t fool yourselves black women…. love is NOT colorblind. Anytime a man is dating/seeing/marrying a Black woman, he is eating from the lowest pool on the food chain. People will always wonder whats wrong with him?? Why did he choose here when there are all of these white and non black women?? Women will think something is wrong with him or that you only nabbed him because of some major defect he has going on. The world simply does not love or adore us. Accept it and you’ll never be surprised.”

Here’s another quote I got from a site dedicated to the hatred and utter degradation of black women:

“Now, most Black women who have dated/married a White guy at some point realize that most White guys who get with a Black woman are damaged. They are either, ugly, shy, broke, manic depressive, bi polar, fat, substance abusers or just plain stupid. Most have been trampled by so many White women they decide to date out of their race. Typically the older divorced White guy who loved Blonds in his youth, married one and had kids, now the sexy Blond is 25 to 30 years older, greying and overweight. She blames him for her aging, fat ass and missed opportunities. She’s tired of him so she kicks him out, calls a lawyer and he has to pay child support and alimony. Which leaves him on the brink of bankruptcy. Once a younger White woman hears he’s broke, she doesn’t give him another look. So he starts to venture into dating Non-white women, brainwashing himself into thinking he’s being progressive. Non White women are usually use to having to live on less money and make him feel like a king. The thing Black women have to watch out for is when that White guy gets back on his feet, he’ll start acting up and chasing the younger white tail. Oh, and usually those White guys will date Non-White women and use all kinds of excuses why their don’t want to married. Ha. They hardly ever do that when dating a White woman. So either way Black woman are not in a good place. So stop acting like you’re so superior and know everything about Black woman. Go slit your throat.”

Huh. Well all-righty-then. Let’s take a glance of the “loser parade” black women are lowering themselves for:

Me and my “fat and ugly” white husband

This is my new Facebook friend, David Bajt with his wife and daughter. He immigrated all the way from Australia to be with a love he met online. What a loser.

OMG, Gigi's in-laws are wealthy with houses all over the world! Oliver is a software engineer. He's MUST be bad news.

I could go on with hundreds more couples, but I have a book to write. You know, about how much non-black men have absolutely no interest in us, and if they do, it’s for some malevolent, sadistic, slave/master fantasy.

* that was sarcasm*

Now before even one comment is posted, I KNOW somebody’s gonna say, “Why do we care what damaged black people think about us? We’ve moved on!” Yes; many of us have. But I gaur-an-damn-tee you that there are thousands of black women and men reading this blog and believe this cow excrement, and then parrot it to others, and still to others, until that message is so ingrained in the psyches of young, middle, and old-aged black women.

And that’s the point. Because who would serve as the dog to kick if we found another home? Who would rally behind the next Chris Brown, O.J. Simpson, or R. Kelly? Who would fill up the church offering plates on Sunday? Who would be the sperm receptacle?

Make no mistake, this is abuse. The abuser uses this tactic–“no one will want you, except us”–as a way to keep you in his possession. If they succeed at convincing you that you’re nothing, you might as well just stay and let them piss on you.

From “An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you’re worthless and that no one else will want you, you’re less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.”

If you’re a lurker who feels like no man but a black man would ever love and cherish you, you are wrong. Take a listen to what Dr. Linda Young, a psychologist who specializes in interracial relationships and lives the talk (she’s black, her husband is white) has to say to help you sort through all your conflicting feelings.

Dr. Young “why black women don’t want you” by Christelyn

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.