June 12 marks the 51st anniversary of the Loving vs. The State of Virginia that the United States Supreme Court upheld the right for Richard and Mildred Loving to legally remain in their interracial marriage and thus extended that right to every American. They even have their own day–Loving Day.
Since the groundbreaking decision that allowed for people from all walks of life to cross color lines to find love, America has become a true melting pot. According to a recent study:
Multicultural consumers are the fastest growing segment of the U.S. population. Already over 120 million strong and increasing by 2.3 million per year, multicultural populations are the growth engine of the future in the U.S. Hispanics, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, and all other multiculturals already make up 38% of the U.S. population, with Census projections showing that multicultural populations will become a numeric majority by 2044.
Multicultural people are obviously the byproducts of interracial unions. With the advent of online dating and social media, people who might not otherwise have ever met are finding each other, falling in love, and getting married. Every racial category in the U.S. has seen a significant uptick in interracial marriage. Black women, who have been the slowest and most reluctant to take that plunge, are even sticking their toe in, and interracial marriage between black women and white men has jumped from a previous static 9% to 12% in less than a decade. What is more, studies have indicated that the longest lasting interracial marriage unions are (perhaps shocking to some) are between white men and black women.
The media is even picking up on the trend, and more and more ads on television and print feature interracial unions.
Yet, in my line of work, promoting interracial relationships, writing books, and serving as a brand ambassador to InterracialDatingCentral, my most vocal opponents have not been white nationalists. It has been other black people.
I have been called a bed wench, race traitor, facilitator of black genocide and enemy of ‘black love’ almost since the beginning. I can accept that some of the men in the black community would feel offended–perhaps even threatened by my work, despite the fact that they intermarry at twice, and when educated THREE TIMES to rate black women do.
What I understand less is the resistance I get from other black women–the very group that I am trying to present the option, opportunity, and idea of finding love in a different way than they might have envisioned. Many of them have participated in slandering me, and even willing to divulge personal information about me and my family to potentially put us at risk for our safety. I feel like the Harriet Tubman of black women interracially dating and marrying. And like her, I could have freed a lot more had they realized they were in a mental bondage.
But why? Why would black women sabotage a viable, proven option to help them maximize their opportunities to meet the best man for the job, regardless of race?
It’s about BELIEF. It is a strong thing. If you have been raised from birth that there are simply certain things black women don’t ‘do,’ don’t date and don’t marry, learning otherwise can cause an internal struggle. Instead of questioning the faultiness of their own belief system and possibly facing that fact that the cage you’ve been in has always been unlocked, it’s easier to lash out and even double down on those outdated ideas.
I’m not saying seeking an interracial relationship is a cakewalk. They do have their challenges. But in 2018, couples like the Lovings, who literally had to risk life and limb for their right to love, the way has been paved much more smoothly for you.
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