Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

Jade and Tom: One Year of Love, Part One

After I posted a picture of another couple on our social media, Jade and Tom reached out. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to speak with them. I hope you enjoy their article. I wish them much happiness with their relationship.


What are your names?

Our names are Jade and Tom. 


How did you meet?

We met at college in a Spanish class. 


What are your cultural/ethnic backgrounds?

I (Jade) am Afro-Latina and Tom is white. 


Did either of you find the dating process challenging?

T: No, not at all. I saw her three times a week, every week, for two semesters. I sat behind Jade so I was pretty comfortable with her already. 

J: No. When Tom and I started talking, I wasn’t “looking” for a relationship. Things just happened organically.


Given the current political climate, was dating interracially challenging? Did you find that your political leanings were a barrier at all? 

T: No, we’re willing to listen and discuss our thoughts with one another. Understanding that we’re on the same side, with some differences, really helps us. 

J: We approach each political topic with nuanced perspectives and discuss them with the fact that understanding each other is the goal. 

T: If anything, it’s other people that try to make it hard for us. 


For the lady, did you ever find that you had a dry spell in the dating process? If so, how did you get yourself out there again?

J: When we started getting to know each other, I was over dating. I wanted to take all the time I needed to develop a healthier mindset towards relationships and dating. I was completely prepared to focus solely on myself and my own growth until I was ready to date again.

For the lady, do you feel that your skin tone made it challenging to date as a whole? If so, how did you overcome that?

J: Colorism affects all dark skinned women (and people) whether it be someone stereotyping you as violent or telling you that you are “pretty for a dark skinned girl.” I have had my fair share of colorism experiences in dating. I really had to do some inner-work to establish confidence in my dark skin and understand how my type-3 hair, in conjunction to my skin tone, might affect my experience. 


Where are you now in your relationship?

We are celebrating our one-year anniversary and we have some very serious plans moving forward.


When did you know it was going somewhere?

J: We talked about what we wanted out of a relationship and decided to work towards being together after graduation from college. 


Do you feel that your location is really welcoming of interracial couples?

T: Well, the community we are in prides itself on “diversity and acceptance”, but we still get a lot of dirty looks when we go out. 

J: No. And you would think with how liberal this area is, and how the community is literally built around a university that we would be accepted more. 


If you live in the US, which region or state do you live in?

We live in Ohio.


Do you feel that your location is really welcoming of interracial couples?

In big cities in Ohio, yes. In small towns like the one we live in currently, no. 


What is your ideal date?

T: My ideal date is a nice day with some good food and sightseeing, before coming home to unwind.


What is the best thing that you like about each other?

T: Jade introduces me to new ideas and thought processes in a way that is not overbearing or off-putting. 

J: I like Tom’s willingness to learn and how emotionally healthy he is.


Thank you so much for reading this interview! This is the first half of this couple spotlight. Stay tuned for the next feature. If any of you are interested in participating in this series, please leave a comment below or connect with me or Christelyn Karazin. You can e-mail me for an interview at [email protected].

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