There are many benefits in waiting to start a family. Finances are more likely to be in order. Debts are likely to be significantly reduced or paid off. With age (typically) comes a clearer mind, and the things you thought were important at 21 are definitely not the same at 41.
Tamron Hall dropped some bombshell news earlier this week. At 48, she is expecting her first child with her husband, and I, like many other people, are super happy for her. Even though her announcement was short and sweet, I took a lot of lessons from it:
- Get married first.
This blog originated No Wedding, No Womb. Even though she was on a time crunch, she valued herself and her baby enough to get married first!
- Wait until you feel ready:
a) To start a family
Ladies, ultimately, it falls on YOU when you start a family, if you choose to start one at all. You’re not any less of a woman if you opt out of motherhood, and don’t let anyone tell you different. In any case, Tamron waited until she was 48. Unless she says her reasons for doing so, anything I say is merely speculation, but I do think that she was simply waiting until the time was right FOR HER.We are starting see more women starting or continuing families later in life – from the Janet Jackson (50), Halle Berry (42 and 47), and Kenya Moore (47). Don’t succumb to the societal or familial pressures of having a baby before YOU are ready – after all, when the diapers hit the fan, society will turn its back on you, and family can too.If you are up in age and want to start a family, it’s getting easier to do so. With medical advancements, surrogacy, and medication, you can be well into your forties and still have the baby you dreamed of. Now, of course, being of advanced maternal age does carry risks, so bear that in mind as well. As geriatric pregnancies become more commonplace, research will undoubtedly catch up to truly see if the risks are as high as previously reported, or skewed because of a smaller sample size at the time of data collection.If you know motherhood is something you want to do, but the time is not right, look into freezing your eggs. After all, your eggs won’t be as young as they are today!
b)To tell the world
Tamron is 32 weeks pregnant! That’s a long time to keep such a big, difficult-to-hide secret. Once again, wait until YOU are ready to share your good news (of any kind, not just baby-related).
- No matter your age, people will have something to say
“ShE iS sO oLd” some might say. “She’ll be close to 70 when the kid graduates high school!” And? She’s undoubtedly got the resources to be a great mom no matter her age. Not to mention, it’s not like she has to haul ass from her day job to her night job 6 days a week like some new mothers do. On another note, I bet you know someone partially or wholly raised by their grandparents. How is Tamron’s situation any different? If she was 18, people would say she’s be too young. At 28 she’d probably get the least flak. At 38, people would probably say she was too old. So, ignore what they all say, and act in YOUR best interests.
- Move in stealth.
Did you know Tamron was married? With child? Social media has made it normal to share every part of your life. Know which secrets to keep to yourself, and who to share it with when you are ready to disclose.
- There is nothing more beautiful than a well-watered black woman
I had NO IDEA Tamron was 48. I thought she was mid 30s tops! When you don’t bog yourself down with the weight of the world, your hair, skin, and nails will glow for it!
- Intellectual babies are important too.
Tamron’s new show debuts in September, plus she is accomplished in her own right. If she forewent motherhood, she would still have her own projects and passions that she ‘birthed”.
What do you think of this wonderful news? Let us know in the comments below!