BB&W Writer Goes Full Throttle Matchmaker Mode…

After kicking the idea around for a while, I’m excited to finally pursue utilizing a matchmaker! While I don’t mind being single, the idea of a romantic partnership continues to intrigue me. I’d like to use a matchmaker for many reasons:

1. Traditional dating methods have not worked for me. I really prefer to have some idea of a man’s character prior to interacting, so I avoid bars, etc. I thought online dating would help here, but eventually I realized that due to my location, it was not a good channel to meet the types of men I am interested in. I live in a Midwestern city where many people marry a couple of years after college. And many people here avoid using technology for socializing. This means that the pool of online daters trends toward the socially awkward or divorcees/widowers. I saw this across social applications – online dating, Meetup, etc.

2. Since I’ve eliminated the bar scene and online dating, I still need something a bit more intentional than just hoping to meet guys through work, hobbies or the professional/social groups I am involved in. While this is a great way to vet a guy from a distance (as I like observing character first), it could take years before a guy shows up whom I am attracted to and vice versa. To me, a matchmaker is at least more active than wondering if a guy will fall out of the sky.

3. I want someone else to do most of the initial heavy lifting. The concept of kissing lots of frogs in as wide a dating pool as possible is not appealing to me; blame this on me being a person who values efficiency and carefully calculates risk/reward/effort trade-offs. I’d rather a matchmaker do some initial vetting prior to presenting potential matches to me.

4. Last, sometimes men in the media (i.e. cute guys on JEOPARDY!) catch my interest. It would be nice to have someone who could occasionally follow up on these.

Now, to prevent the inevitable concern trolling, let me say this: I am well aware these preferences lead to a smaller dating pool. I know this and don’t care. Being in a committed relationship with the right man would be nice but is not necessary for me to be happy and fulfilled in my life. I am just looking for a guy with whom together we are stronger and more awesome than we are apart, though apart we are already strong, awesome people. Obviously, it helps that I am not up against the pressure of deeply desiring a relationship ASAP or children. Thus, I have some luxury to find the best fit possible.

I am currently developing a list of matchmakers and plan to whittle it down to about five to contact by the end of the year. Is there an agency or particular matchmaker I should consider? Have you used a matchmaker? Please share your experiences in the comments!


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