Monday is Pun day.


It has been said that the PUN is the lowest form of humor … possibly battling it out with the Limerick for bottom-of-the-barrel last place.

The punster is one who should be “pun-ished” by being “drawn and quoted”.

Puns can be quite long or even short. Consider that the price of feathers is steadily becoming more costly. So, down is up.

The punster’s reward comes in the forms of groans … gagging sounds … howls … eye-rolls … and, for the ultimate puns, death threats.

Consider the tale of the two tourists from Czechoslovakia, to Southern Louisiana, where one was suddenly grabbed, dragged underwater and consumed by one of a mating pair of sizable alligators. Horrified officials were only able to capture the female alligator, and examine her stomach, which contained only crayfish and an old license plate. So, they had to conclude that the Czech was in the male.

So, for your weekly education and delight, I now submit my entry for MONDAY-PUNDAY:

– – – – – – – – –

PRILEP, Macedonia (AP) – Outside a small Macedonian village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Macedonia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent.

She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000 years.

When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Macedonia. However, that isn’t likely to happen soon as Sister Maria, 53, enjoys excellent health. By her own estimate, she walks 10 miles daily about the grounds of the convent, which once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun.

In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site. Historians say that Attila took over the old temple in 439 A.D. and used it as a base for his marauding army.

The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. Scholars differ on why he had the valuable documents destroyed — either because he was barely literate and couldn’t read them, or because they provided evidence of democratic government that did not square with his own notion of rule by an all-powerful tyrant.

When the Greek church took over the site in the 15th Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost.

Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base, amidst the strife of war -torn Macedonia, and when she goes, that will be it. Over and done with, despite all the accumulated history.

Thus, that’s how it ends, with a ‘technically perfect’ game:

No Huns,

No Writs,

No Eros, and …

Nun left on base.


>>> See you next Monday <<<
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