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Humor

Monday Punday #12

Monday-Punday #12

SirLoin notes, again, that seven days without a pun makes one weak.

It reminds you of the German sausage, when you have to decide which is the best of the wurst!

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Choice insults:

Why, yes, thank you for asking: I am an Agent-of-Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Nice perfume … must you marinate it in?

Chaos, panic & disorder – my work here is done!

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Curious questions:

I thought about how Western mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered … what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would the new company be called Fed UP?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted … musicians denoted … cowboys deranged … models deposed … tree surgeons debarked … and dry-cleaner depressed?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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Philadelphia Daily News- A seven-year old boy was at the center of a

Philadelphia Family courtroom drama this morning, when he challenged a court ruling over whom should have custody of him.

 

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

 

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

 

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

 

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