Gender Conflict

My Filthy Mouth: Oral Sex, Shame and Black Female Empowerment

I’ve been an online fan/stan/friend of sex positive writer Arielle Loren for nearly two years now. I was lucky enough to stumble across her in the early stage of the release of her documentary Bideology in which she explores people of color and bisexuality.

Her new digital publication Corset Magazine, the “new cutting edge source for the discussion of all things sexuality” is jaw dropping and informative. The publishers invited me to submit a story for consideration in the upcoming issue and so I did.

My photographer/fam/soulmate Trills Smith and I came up with a visual concept to compliment my written piece. We submitted the images along with my story and commenced to wait and see.

We thought the viewers would find our perception of oral pleasure compelling if nothing else but we wouldn’t know anything until the general public did. Would they like the images enough to use them?

Apparently so!

I was up late at night clicking keys and doing something random on my Facebook page when it updated to show that Corset Magazine was now taking pre-orders for their Oral Pleasure Issue.

I glanced down at the image in the little blue box and nearly choked on my own audacity.

There I was, on Facebook, with something in my mouth, with eyes closed and my head thrown back, I’m on the cover of an actual published magazine.

Wow…..go me!!

Out of all the images we submitted I didn’t think that one would become the cover shot…and then it dawned on me……I look like I have a *ick* in my mouth.

Wait….everyone can see ME on this image on Facebook….and on the internet….and everyone’s website……everywhere…in the world with an implied *ick* in my mouth

My image will forever be etched into the wall of society as, TRJ, a brown woman who enjoys oral sex and other things I mentioned in my article. Complete with a visual!!

Congratulations Tracy….you’ve done it this time.

I hung my head in shame for all of 3 seconds as I thought of who might see this. My friends, ex-coworkers, old high school boyfriends, hater chicks from the 80’s, my child’s father’s family and my own conservative family…..Doh!!

And then I realized that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter any more now than it did when I was a teenager and getting cursed out by my overtly religious foster mother, beat up by the girls who wouldn’t, and post traumatic stress level antagonized by urban society in general because I liked oral sex and sex in general.

I became good at both.

I learned some things.

Practice makes perfect.

Don’t be mad.

My lovers never were.

I’m vocal by nature and I can curse like a sailor in favor of using eloquence.

My mother always said I had a filthy mouth. This is just a visual.

Good girls don’t give head because then you’ll be known as the girl that does filthy things with her mouth.

This is just a visual.

So, yeah, that is me in that picture on the cover…of an internationally known digital publication!

Hi, Mom!!!! and Dad…*finger waves*

See what I have to say about oral sex, the stigma and how it affects our sex lives by getting your copy of Corset Magazine for a special discount price by clicking here. I’ve never been ashamed of myself and I won’t start now.

See that girl on the cover of the magazine……that’s me.

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