Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

No; You’re Not Just Being Paranoid. Black Media Really DON’T Want Black Women to Swirl.

There have been people (mostly; well…all) who have complained that writing “Swirling” was completely unnecessary. After all, it’s 2012! Black folks exclaim, “Hey, love who you love; nobody cares about your interracial relationship.”

What a crock of cow dung. What putrid lizard poo. What zebra excreta.

Every time. EVERY TIME a black-woman centered publication runs a story on black women in interracial relationships, and by default not about black men, the comments section goes ape shit. Yes; I used the actual word. Sometimes curse words are the only words that will do.

Yet, we are told that we black women are paranoid and delusional, part of the tin-foil hat crowd.

Oh really? Read this. It’s from Clutch magazine’s pitching guidelines. To the non-freelance writer crowd, pitch guidelines are in place to help guide the writer on what subject matter to present for consideration of publication.

Check out the second-to-last guideline: “Unless it’s a particularly newsworthy piece, steer clear of covering interracial relationships.”

Unless you’re looking in “KKK Weekly” or the Stormfront Gazette,” I challenge you to find such a guideline in ANY other NON-BLACK publication. How the editors would actually put this in print is just evidence of how deeply engrained and taboo the subject of black women dating out is.

Yet, we are CONTINUALLY GASLIGHTED. They keep telling us the sky is piss yellow, urinating on our heads and calling it rain. Black women are literally held hostage by these social constraints and fear of disapproval. The GAT-DL has black media literally by the short hairs and whether a willing participant or not, they support the message–sometimes subtle, sometimes not–that black women are not allowed to date non-black men without repercussions.

Ladies, there is literally NO PLACE in black media you can go to find support for who you love. Know why? Because all the GAT-DL has to do is threaten to stop buying perm and hair extensions, and therefore drying up all the magazine’s revenue. Yes; they are trying to control you, and NO, you are not crazy.


Never holding back, social commentator, Deborrah Cooper said this:

Well, statistically Black women are the demographic the least likely to be involved in an interracial relationship. Is that because men of other races are not attracted to or interested in Black women? No, its because Black women have been socialized to carry the torch for the entire Black community, and burdened with the responsibility of increasing ‘our numbers’ and carrying on the ‘black family’ by limiting her romantic options to Black men. Black women are loyal to a fault to men that are not loyal to them in return. The loss of black wombs to white, asian or latino men means a loss of privilege to black men to pick and choose. They of course resent that. The politics involved in who has the right to the womb of the black woman is at stake. And should a black female magazine start printing too many articles which advocate that BW ‘turn their backs on’ black men by dating out, black men and the women that are black male identified would go beserk. Personally, I wouldn’t give a damn, but there is the fear amongst publishers of losing financial backing from pro black businesses and sponsors. Therefore, they remain conservative, occasionally publishing pieces which examine the interest, but not doing it frequently enough to seem that they are endorsing interracial dating for black women. It’s very political.

To get the full conversation, go to the BB&W fan page, here.

*A little birdie, told me, “I just got an email back from Deanna Sutton, one of the editors, that they are updating the clause for a more detailed explanation.” Hmmm…how more detailed to they need to get? Maybe you should ask them. Here’s their email addy: [email protected]

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