Question of the Week

QOTW: “My Black Wife Has Daddy Issues!”

broken family on a blackboard

broken family on a blackboard

The question…

Hi Christelyn, I came across your YouTube after watching someone else YouTube channel where they mentioned your vids, do I decided to visit your channel and I have been watching for a few weeks.

Out of all the people that make YouTube videos on black and white issues, you are the most consistent in your logic and reasoning.
Also as an “African American” woman maybe  you can give me some advise on my current situation.

I am non black male married to a black African American female, we are both professionals, both of us in our 30’s. I love my wife deeply and I really cherish her with all my heart. My wife is a very honorable human being, and very smart too; her upbringing was difficult, because (without going into too much detail) her black father wasn’t there for her; this left her to develop a deep sense of distrust, feeling like no one ever had her back. (Her mom has always supported her and been there for her, but her bio dad wasn’t).

I have always been there for my wife and she has never faced anything alone since I been with her.

I come from a different cultural view, to me a man shows his manliness by being present and commanding the protection and safety of his family, among other things. No matter how hard I try, her fears and her lack of trust is disrupting our relationship, she lacks a sense of nurturing which I wish she had, I know she knows I love her, because I have shown her with my actions. We’ve been married 6 years. She is my wife and I want to stick by her, but her inability to leave herself open to me fully, hurts me and makes my job as husband a lot difficult.

I feel like I am paying for the sins of her father.
Do you know of any resources books that may deal with this type of matter or that may shed light on how to help someone like her and ofcourse our relationship?

I am a very private person and I try to stay that way, if you don’t get a chance to reply, I understands I will keep watching your show.

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