I was nervous to write to you at first. I believed all that I was raised with about finding my IBM, that I am not supposed to date outside my race, etc.I did all the right things, and followed all the old-school advice. I felt like a failure as I watched friends and acquaintances find and marry black men. Staying married? Who knows?
I find myself now 38 and alone. If this appears on your website, I wouldn’t be surprised if I read a bunch of “She got what she deserved.”; “Get a cat, try a black one”; “Ha ha”; “If you had swirled, you’d be married by now”. That’s fine.My reason for writing is I have NO idea where to begin to date interracially. I have also been scared because I have been called nigger by white men (not women) at least a dozen times since I became an adult. Every time I think about ‘swirling’, I have flashbacks about being chased through town by an angry white guy in a jeep screaming nigger at me, and other embarrassing instances of bigotry.I don’t even expect marriage at this point, and children at my age is just a landmine at best and a disaster at worst. It’s even more scary considering I have been celibate for 7 years, and completely paranoid to even date let alone be intimate with a man of any race.Any assistance would be great.
It’s so sad, however, that black women are STILL telling each other to WAIT if they really, really, REALLY want a black man. Because…girl he’s gonna come! Check this out the kicker is close to the end..
Okay ladies, be gentle!
Matthew Hussey’s Get The Guy:
My book, “Swirling”:
Matthew’s Book, “Get the Guy”:
And our NEW site!: Beyond Black & White Kids