Question of the Week

QOTW: “I’m 38, and Tired of Waiting for My IBM!”

The question:

I was nervous to write to you at first. I believed all that I was raised with about finding my IBM, that I am not supposed to date outside my race, etc. 

I did all the right things, and followed all the old-school advice. I felt like a failure as I watched friends and acquaintances find and marry black men. Staying married? Who knows? 

I find myself now 38 and alone. If this appears on your website, I wouldn’t be surprised if I read a bunch of “She got what she deserved.”; “Get a cat, try a black one”; “Ha ha”; “If you had swirled, you’d be married by now”. That’s fine. 

My reason for writing is I have NO idea where to begin to date interracially. I have also been scared because I have been called nigger by white men (not women) at least a dozen times since I became an adult. Every time I think about ‘swirling’, I have flashbacks about being chased through town by an angry white guy in a jeep screaming nigger at me, and other embarrassing instances of bigotry. 
I don’t even expect marriage at this point, and children at my age is just a landmine at best and a disaster at worst. It’s even more scary considering I have been celibate for 7 years, and completely paranoid to even date let alone be intimate with a man of any race.
Any assistance would be great. 
Here’s my take…

It’s so sad, however, that black women are STILL telling each other to WAIT if they really, really, REALLY want a black man. Because…girl he’s gonna come! Check this out the kicker is close to the end..

Okay ladies, be gentle!

Matthew Hussey’s Get The Guy:
My book, “Swirling”:
Matthew’s Book, “Get the Guy”:
And our NEW site!: Beyond Black & White Kids

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.