Question of the Week

QOTW: “Is My Long-Distance Relationship a Big, Fat, Fake?”

I received this note from a reader a few weeks ago:

“I am a single parent of twin seven year old boys and I live in Trinidad. I have known my friend who lives in Canada for almost 3 years. We’ve been skyping, texting, mailed Christmas and birthday cards. He’s even wired me money for Christmas as a gift to get gifts for my boys and myself. He adores them.He’s introduced me to his sister on Skype and I’ve even seen his kid niece and nephew on Skype too. He’s met my dad and sister on Skype as well. We have a lot in common and our personalities complement each other. We’ve titled our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, until we decided that it was too frustrating titling it as such because of the distance and other elements that go along with it. He’s said that he doesn’t think that he’s good for anybody however if he has to be with someone, it would have to be me. He tells me how beautiful I am all the time and how he thinks our children would be adorable. Deep inside I can’t imagine myself with another guy as he’s connected with me on a different level. We’ve even prayed together while skyping, among other things #wink wink # lol. About a year and a half ago we agreed I’d visit him, however when I started getting my documents sorted out he got cold feet. He’s says he loves me and I him. I can see he gets jealous when I talk about other guys so I know his feelings are genuine. We continue to communicate just like I started earlier still to this date. What should I do.”

Here’s my take:

Cautionary tale: Online relationships make it easier to meet people from across the globe like never before in history. It also makes it easy for men and women who want to play and prey on the emotions of people because it makes them feel powerful. Skyping, texting and emailing are all great tools to get to know someone, but if at some point there’s no follow through with CONCRETE plans to meet, then consider this a flaming red flag.

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