Question of the Week

QOTW: “Why Is He Pressuring Me to Commit So Soon?”

A black woman who met a white man online is interesting in pursuing an interracial relationship, but has some misgivings about how quickly he’s trying to move along.

Good evening Christelyn:

I am enrolled on an afro centric website

I’m a black woman who met a white guy on this site

A guy contacted me and we spoke via the email in the site for about a week and then I didn’t hear from him again.

Now 4 months later I hear from him again. After 4 days of talking he gets my permission to text me. Well he texts me about a minimum of 6-8 hrs a day. He works from home and everything about him checks out. He has a successful business.

After about a week and a half he asks me to be in a committed relationship with him. I set the boundaries such as we see no one else and we a friends first. We get to know one another before sex comes in the picture.

He agrees.

We have good conversations and we are really getting to know one another.

I’m in my early 50’s he is in his late 40’s He is divorced and I am recently divorced.

Is this commitment in which he states that we are in a one on one committed relationship for real or is he playing me?
I asked him why so soon? He tells me that he is very particular but I have all of the qualities he likes in a woman. He also said that the timing for us is perfect.

We talk on the phone and skype one another but we live 5 states apart from one another. It would be about a 8 hrs drive to see him. He said he is willing to come see me and he does understand that sex won’t be in the picture until I feel ready.

Now here is the deal that makes me think he is up to no good.

I can see if he is online to the website we met and I will check once and awhile and I can see that his profile is on, which means he is on that site.

What do you think?

Here’s my take.

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