Married Swirling

Question of the Week: A White Woman Asks, “What Do Black Women Think of My Interracial Marriage?”

Hi Christelyn,

I came on your site today as a sponsored advertisement on the side of my Facebook page since I “like” Loving Day and Loving Day likes your page. The title of your page caught my attention, so I decided to check it out. I read your “About the Book” and “My Story” sections and I have a question for you. It might help for you to know that I am a white woman who is married to a black Kenyan man. We encountered our own share of roadblocks on the way to our wedding day. More so from my family than his. But all that has settled down and my family loves my husband and visa versa. But my question. I would describe my husband as that “college educated, professional and marriage-minded black man” that you spoke of in your “About the Book” section. I’ve always wondered what black women think of me
when they see me with my husband and daughters. I’ve even had some what of an idea that black women might resent me for “taking one of their men”. Its sometimes implied in media/tv/movies, etc. After reading some of your site, you seemed like a good person to ask what the black world really thinks of women like me…?

Thanks in advance for your time, Julie

Hi Julie,

Thanks for your question–it’s a really good one actually, because many, MANY readers on this board have encountered scenarios in which white women like yourself, married to black men, look at us as if in anticipation to some sort of “event.” Some have wondered to themselves, “Are they trying to get a rise out of me?” or, “Do they think I care that much?” So, it’s nice to have a real person to have this discussion with. Me personally? I’ve never had an issue with black men marrying out. It’s something I ALWAYS saw in my town growing up. It was normal. What was abnormal was to see those relationships with a black woman and a white man. Now THAT got you some looks, push back, giggles, lame comments, other black men verbally pissing on you, etc.

Bottom line Julie, what we think about your marriage to your husband shouldn’t concern you, because frankly, it’s none of our dayum business. Your husband does not “belong” to us, as we do not “belong” to black men. All’s fair in love, and I’m happy you found yours.

But I’ll open up the floor to the BB&W Crew, because I know they’ll have a lot to say.

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