Pop Culture

RHOA Demonstrates How Some Black Women Waste Their Potential on Shifty Men

We already knew that Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Apollo Nida was facing Fed time based on some banking trickery he was implicated in a few years back. The verdict has come down and the husband of Phaedra Parks, an attorney, will be serving a reduced sentence of eight years leaving behind his gorgeous wife and two adorable toddler sons.

This entire situations makes my head spin because if you’ve ever watched, on purpose or by accident, the RHOA show then you may have seen Phaedra. If you haven’t, then here is a photo to get you familiar with the subject at hand.

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Now it’s one thing to be married to a man who does their, seemingly, typical professional business in an unethical manner. Those would be the guys that are doing gymnastic Wall Street deals that may or may not be legal, depending on who you ask and how much money is at stake. These are the kegs in the wheels of consumerism, an avalanche may fall one day but you won’t necessarily have to experience the SWAT team kicking your door in while you make your children pancakes. You won’t know the extent of your mate’s lack of judgement until the walls come tumbling down, and that’s bad enough, as is.

But saddling up with a person of poor judgement, or one who is willing to risk everything on a short term reward is never a good idea for any women. Phaedra is educated, talented and beautiful, so why did she involve herself with a man who had a prior conviction for petty theft and racketeering charges? He did’t even make an attempt to go the straight and narrow, partnered with the fact that his new wife is wealthy and connected, he could have just been a house husband and arm candy, but no.

He had a plan and doing what could and should be done by his new wife and family wasn’t it. He wasn’t fearful of shaming his wife and children by breaking the law but he felt insecure enough to want to match her money and fame, nevertheless.

Nida was in state prison for six years, from 2003 to 2009, for a RICO charge related to a car theft scheme. Prosecutors and investigators say Nida, incredibly, began his new white-collar criminal enterprise almost as soon as he got out of prison in 2009.

Most telling during the May court appearance, Nida said he reentered the criminal underworld right after getting out of prison because he felt pressure to make money to keep up his wife’s high-profile attorney income and “Real Housewives” salary.

Nida’s attorney Thomas Bever tried to use Nida’s horrific childhood as a way to get the sentence reduced significantly.

Bever even brought in Nida’s mother Katrina Toohey and half brother Michael Derrick as key witnesses to offer poignant testimony. Toohey was wracked with tears when she admitted that she was a bad mother who was addicted to drugs and was physically abused by her boyfriend. After Toohey overdosed on drugs, which Nida witnessed, he was raised by a variety of friends and family members and never enjoyed a stable home environment as a kid.

Not unexpectedly, Nida eventually lost hope in education, dropping out of high school and joined a car theft ring that led him to prison the first time, where he served six years.

But Alana Black, the assistant U.S. attorney, countered that excuse by telling the judge that Nida had his chance to start life anew in 2009 when he got out and married Parks, an attorney with a middle-class income, not to mention her salary from “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” [Source]

The term of eight years may seem like a lot to you and me normal folks but Nida was actually facing a much longer stint. The judge gave him leniency in exchange for his turning over information regarding his crimes and illegal networks.

So, Nida is also a snitch in a addition to be a poor role model, a mediocre criminal and a sad excuse for a husband, at least from my observation. I don’t know them, personally, so don’t quote me. I can’t image how this turned out according to plan for Phaedra, you have a career, a lucrative side hustle, stability and two beautiful babies to raise without their father.

“Phaedra saw this coming and she and Apollo have known for a long time now that he’d be sentenced. It’s not a surprise to her. The only thing she’s worried about is Ayden and Dylan growing up without their dad,” our insider revealed.

“She knows just how important it is for her children, and young black boys in general, to grow up with a father. It’s devastating to her that her two boys will miss their father during some of the most precious growing years of their lives.” [Source]

She may know how important it is for boys to grow up with a father so my question is why did she choose one who showed evidence that his freedom is up for compromise, and his determination to go out and accomplish goals is based on stealing and taking from innocent people?

We’ll never know the answer to this one, but we can surmise, some women think ‘taking a chance at love’ is more about giving a man a chance. If he was of good character and morally upstanding then you could reduce the odds of your needing to depend on simply chance for you and he to make it happen.

Taking a chance with a life partner should mean making sure the person you choose is worthy of the resources, the risks and the rewards of a life by your side and not a fixer-upper questionable bad boy from a dysfunctional environment.

At some point, you have to wonder if these relationships are about love, or ego, after having a tamed an animal that turns around and bites you in the ass. I’m not saying people aren’t beyond redemption, I’m just saying hand that benefit of doubt out like they do at the welfare office.

With much time spent cooling your heels, critiquing paperwork and doing due diligence to ensure the person is deserving. Luckily, Mrs. Parks is a woman of means and I wouldn’t be surprised if she changed directions and got her a more worth while man now that she has her Black love offspring. Remember, married women are more likely to get re-married, so that is all in her favor.

The average girl, on the other hand, can look forward to a life of parenting navigated by only one parent, half the income potential and the added expense of trying to maintain a prisoner’s needs.

You aren’t Phaedra.

You aren’t on a reality show.

You live in the reality show-up, which means after you make a hot mess of your life there won’t be producers and book deals to pad your fall. Take this as an example of what happens when women waste their potential on shifty men, and don’t let it be you.

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