I had the opportunity to interview S. Helena on her three-year marriage with Naveen. Some of you may remember her from one of Christelyn’s in-depth video series, The Pros and Cons of Dating Asian Men. She graciously agreed to be featured in an article and has even suggested future subjects for article features. Thank you for all of your support, S. Helena! I hope you all enjoy the piece.
What is the best part about being together?
It’s like we are perfectly in sync with each other. We often think the same things. Sometimes we’ll see a situation and look right at each other. When we talk about it, we find out that we were thinking the same thing all along. We are very in tune with each other. During a difficult time, we can look at each other and tell when something is wrong. We’re always talking and engaging with each other. Communication is so important for us.
How has your family reacted?
My family was very supportive of my relationship. However, we did have some issues with my in-laws. When my husband told his parents about me, they were really curious about everything. His father wasn’t too thrilled about it. When Naveen travelled home for Christmas after ten months of dating, he told his parents that he wanted to marry me. His father had hoped that he would get an arranged marriage to a Catholic South Asian girl. My husband stood firm in his decision to marry for love, and to marry me. As I mentioned, my father-in-law wasn’t thrilled with the decision. He didn’t acknowledge me for about two years. It was only in February 2018, when his father finally came around. Since February 2018, we have been speaking at least twice per week with my father-in-law looking forward in our conversations.
What other challenges have you faced?
I had a secret relationship with my mother-in-law for quite some time. Naveen didn’t have complete support from his family, so we had to keep our relationship and initial marriage ceremony secret from many of his friends and his extended family in India as well as his extended family here in the states. It was difficult, but these times really helped to strengthen our relationship.
How have your friends reacted?
I had a chance to connect with some of Naveen’s friends on the first day we met. After about two months, I was spending time with his friends more and more. Some of the Indian ladies in the group were cautious and wary at first, but they really warmed up to me. My friends were one hundred percent on board. They helped us to get together and continued to support us each step of the way. We have had some amazing friends.
How do you deal with difficult times?
If something is bothering us individually, we will make sure to talk it out. My husband is very protective of me. We are our own kingdom and our own unit. We make sure to listen with a lot of empathy.
Thank you so much for reading this interview! This concludes our series. If any of you are interested in participating in an interview feature, or know someone who may wish to participate, please leave a comment below or connect with Christelyn Karazin.