It might be a bit cynical to boil down the elements of what makes someone fall in love to a cold and calculated equation, but…oh well! In today’s dating climate, I know for a fact that some of you need all the advantages you can get. You can thank me later–after all Christmas is just weeks away.
Leil Lowndes, author of “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You,” lays out the science of creating a love connection in Chapter Two: What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements. Here’s a summary (and my own commentary) of what they are, according to Lowndes.
Science supports the notion that love blooms during the first few minutes of the initial meeting. “The moment you set eyes on each other, your Potential Love Partner subconsciously read the subtleties of your body language. In these first crucial moments, he or she can unconsciously resolve to try for romantic takeoff or abort thoughts of love. His or her mind becomes computer-like, and your PLP (Potential Love Partner) continues to make rapid decisions about you during your first conversation, your first date. Ladies, that means you need to be on your “A-Game” in the looks department. Maximize your assets. Minimize your flaws.
Similar Character, Complementary Needs
Opposites attract, but people can’t be too different. Just different enough to complement one another, say Lowndes. “If yyou pass the first impressions test, you enter the second phase. Here you Quarry starts making judgments about you as a PLP. His or her subconscious mind is saying, “I want someone like me. Well, almost like me.” She goes on to say “Our hearts are finely tuned instruments that seek someone who has values similar to ours, who holds beliefs similar to ours, and who looks at the world in more or less the same way we do. But, we get bored with too much similarity. Besides, we need somebody to make up for our lacks.” (Sidenote and anecdotal evidence: When me and The Hubster got together, we quickly realized we had a lot of stuff common, but he had one thing on me that I homed in on–he was good with money management. He saved, clipped coupons and was excellent in practical math. All stuff I was terrible at. And where he was quiet and reserved, I was vibrant and bubbly. He married me so he would have that stuff covered by default.) The goal is to subtly plant seeds of similarity in your PLP’s mind to assure him that you two are basically alike and that you can make up for the things your other partner lacks.
This is the WIIFM, or What’s In It For Me? question. “If you want to make someone fall in love with you, researchers say, you must initially convince them they’re getting a good deal. We may not be conscious of it, but, science tells us, tried and true market principles apply to love relationships. Lovers unconsciously calculate the other person’s comparable worth, the cost-benefit ratio of the relationship, the hidden costs, the maintenance fee, and the assumed depreciation.”
How do you make your man feel about himself when you’re with him? If you make him feel like the Greek-god version of himself, then you’re doing everything 100% right. “Would-be lovers should be thrilled that ego makes the world go round, because Quarries’ egos are very vulnerable targets. There are multifarious ways to make your Quarry feel beautiful, strong, handsome, charming, dynamic or however he or she wants to feel. Thee are big-stroke compliments, little-stroke caresses, and a myriad of deliciously devious means to make your Quarry feel special.”
Much to the chagrin of folks who push for gender equality on ALL levels, the fact is, men and women think differently, period, end of sentence. “To avoid scaring off their prey before they bag it, serious big-game hunters know all the characteristics and habits of deer, moose, caribou, bison and wild hogs. Likewise, serious love Hunters and Huntresses must be well versed in gender difference if they intend to make the kill.”
Give Him a Brain Fellatio
Lowndes says that sexual magnetism starts with the mind. “Ladies, far more important to a man than your bra-cup size or the source of your hips, is the size and curve of your sexual attitude and how you deal with his individual sexuality.
So what do you think, ladies? You buy this? Any of you balking because it seems too manipulative?