Seattle Mom Found Dead After Online Date. Beware.

A Seattle woman went on her first and last date with a man she met online. After being reported missing, her severed head, along with other body parts, were found in a dumpster. So..does that mean online dating is just too damn dangerous? Not so fast. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Our resident I.T. guy, Carl, wrote out a few other tips to keep in mind:

1. Don’t over share. We all know what it’s like, you meet someone online, they are exciting and interesting and it makes your heart race so we all can develop a little bit of verbal diarrhoea. Everything flows out, where you live. What car you drive, sisters, brothers, cousins that time you had too much to drink and… well anyway…
All information that you might not want to share with someone who thus far you only communicated with on-line. Plus, you want to leave something for the first date conversation. Also for the love of God don’t send sexy pictures and if they ask for them be make note of it that sort of request will give you an idea of how they think.

Same for you chaps, we all know it looks like a strangled chicken so if asked don’t send and don’t do it yourself.

2. Plan to meet somewhere public and sensible.  Ladies do not suggest he picks you up especially on a first date. For starts, if you are dependant on them for transport you put yourself in a powerless state and you have no control over where you might be taken or left.
So choice somewhere practical for you to via public transport or otherwise.
Choose a nice place with plenty of people, you can’t go too wrong with a lunch or dinner at a restaurant or café. Don’t suggest or accept meeting at their place. They either have not thought it through or they are not willing to put the effort into you.

3. Safeguard yourself. What does this mean? TELL PEOPLE WHERE YOU ARE GOING!!! Ok none of us like feeling like little kids again but for the sake of some safety (which likely to rarely need) tell your parents/friend/sister/brother.
Doesn’t have to be a grand discussion, just “hey I am going on a date, meeting a guy called Mark, we going for a meal in town and I should be home about 11.” Of course nothing stops you giving more. Modern phones you can even use apps to share your location, all depends on your comforts. It all is towards the goal of making sure that there are safeguards in place.

4. Always have an escape plan. While a team of snipers and swat squad on standby might be overkill you can do some simple sensible thing to that can relate to 3.
Basically we have all been there, you sitting down, talking to this person and Oh my god you got yourself a weird one. She has spent the first 30 minutes of your date telling you about her cat “cuddles” and how she dress’s it up in mini Nazi uniforms, maybe she has told you all about her ex boyfriends and how she tried to trap him by getting pregnant (real experience) or perhaps the lovely chap you have met has spent his entire time staring at your tits and telling you how he wants to put him vanilla into your chocolate and keeps “jokingly” asking the waiter to bring some whip cream for later.

So how to escape? Boldest move, just pay the bill and leave/or leave.
It is likely to give the clearest message but not everyone is comfortable being that direct.
Well relating to 3 a benefit of telling someone is you can arrange them to ring you during the date.
If the date is going well then you can just go “sorry I just got to answer this it’s just my friend making sure I am ok” any man will appreciate that you have the sense to be careful and that it speaks of your character. There is no need to hide this.

Then if it’s all going wrong “OH NO? LITTLE TIMMYS FALLEN DOWN THE WELL? I AM ON MY WAY!!” Ok maybe don’t use that exact excuse but the point should be clear, family emergency, over intrusive parents (if young and living at home), friend in accident, dogs been run over.

You then give your apologies and disappear. This may not prevent follow up texts but eventually he/she will get the message if you ignore them or straight up tell them you’re not interested.

5. Don’t give up the goods.
Harking back to 1. You’ve had a lovely evening together, he has stared into your eyes, your hearts racing, things are “throbbing” and you feel like gooey warm butter in his hands.

But keep yourself composed. Putting aside social conventions and rules the biggest reason is your about to break the point of all this, safety. To have your fun you got to go somewhere alone together, somewhere with varying degrees of privacy which all leads to putting yourself in a position where you lack self-security.

Besides if you are that excited for one another then a kiss on the cheek and promises of a second date will end the date on a high note and leave the other party keen.

If no second date then you know they were not that keen and you dodged a bullet.
And no that does not automatically mean give it up the second date or the all-powerful “third date”.

The most important thing is that you enjoy your meeting safely.


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