Welp, here’s some new study that seems to inherently make a whole lot of sense. Just like the study that says people who eat real vegetables are healthier than people who eat McDonald fries for theirs, or people who live next to freeways have less healthy lungs than people who live in the Connecticut countryside. Sociologist Elizabeth McClintock of the University of Norte Dame released a study basically suggesting that more attractive women have less casual sex than “unattractive” women, because the less-pretty will often negotiate sex as a compromise. Her study included both men and women, but for this post I’m going to just concentrate on the women. Here’s the highlights:
1. For women, the number of sexual partners decreases with increasing physical attractiveness.
2. Very physically attractive women are more likely to form exclusive relationships than to form purely sexual relationships.
3. Attractive women are less likely to have sexual intercourse within the first week of meeting a partner.
4. Underweight and normal-weight women are more likely to report romantic experience.
5. Overweight women report approximately 10% more partners than normal-weight women whereas obese women report approximately 10% fewer partners.
6. For women the effect of being underweight on within-relationship outcomes resembles the effect of being very physically attractive.
Let’s focus on #1 through #3: Bottom line, attractive people know they have options, and don’t need to stoop to please a man they’re interested in. There’s no need for them to feel “grateful” that some ass is throwing them a crumb or two. When a guy suggests sex on the second date, they’ll be more likely to scoff and tell that douche to get to steppin’. Better yet, that douche might not even try that mess because in his mind, the woman is of high value (at least on the primal, Darwinian level) and will put a little more effort into not being an ass. HOWEVER COMMA! This theory only works if the individual is actually AWARE that they are attractive. If they lack the appropriate amount of self esteem, it doesn’t matter if she’s gorgeous–if she doesn’t believe she is, she’ll behave like an ugly hoe-bag. I had a friend growing up who was absolutely beautiful–perfect facial symmetry, long, black shiny hair, gorgeous fit dancer’s body–who had a lot more sex and made a lot more mistakes with men because she didn’t believe she was good enough, despite her gifted IQ. She could have had her pick, if only she believed it herself.
Why This Study Means NOTHING to a NBABM Woman
Remember how we just established that good-looking women have less sex than the looks challenged? This means nothing for black women fully entrenched in the fullness of the black community who will ONLY entertain dating and mating with other black men. You could be beautiful. You could be smart. You could have an amazing body. And you could still stay single and alone, because unlike women who are open to dating ALL men, these NBABM (nothing but a black man) women, even the gorgeous ones, DO NOT HAVE THE SAME OPTIONS. Think I’m full of it? Spend a day talking to black women in Atlanta, Georgia. That place has the highest percentage of exquisite and educated black women in the United States and most of those women are languishing in single hood and the black men there are taking full advantage of the lopsided female-to-male ratio. Doesn’t matter if these are high-value women. If they don’t give up the va-jay-jay, the men men will simply move on to someone who will. The men in these communities who are good-looking and accomplished also know they have options–A LOT of options. But remember, the endgame for a man is completely different than the endgame of a woman. A man wants to spread his seed all over the universe. If you’re a guy and your reproductive options are endless, there’s really no need for you to compromise, is there?
In short, this study only makes sense if the attractive women are aware of their sexual currency.
Now let’s take a look at #4-#6. Specifically this finding…
Overweight women report approximately 10% more partners than normal-weight women whereas obese women report approximately 10% fewer partners.
Why do you suppose this is? I hypothesize that overweight women realize their sexually currency is less than their normal-weight counterparts and will compromise and use sex as a negotiation. As crass as it sounds, many men will date an overweight woman and when asked why, will unapologetically proclaim, “Because a fat girl will just be happy to get any attention at all. Fat women are easy jump offs.”
That’s why when it comes to dating discussions and black women maximizing their options the weight discussion becomes immutable. The elephant isn’t going to magically leave the room, ladies. Fitness should be just as routine as washing your face and brushing your teeth.
And say you haven’t been graced with a beautiful, symmetrical face by Mother Nature (don’t worry, most of us are just average too) your fitness WILL make up for it. Why? Because the more physically fit you are, the better able a man can see your silhouette. Those full, round breasts, small waist, hips and round bottom is like catnip for a man’s primal brain. He may not be fully aware of it, but he’s in awe or your potential fertility and how well you’ll be able to carry his kids to term.
For women the effect of being underweight on within-relationship outcomes resembles the effect of being very physically attractive.
This last one upsets me a bit. It’s one thing to be fit, but…UNDERWEIGHT makes you hotter?! That’s got to be just for white chicks. “This suggests that the factors influencing romantic and sexual desirability are at least in part socially structured because underweight women are less fertile so the evolutionary perspective predicts that they would be less able to obtain desired outcomes,” says the blogmistress of Hooking Up Smart.