Black Women's Improvement Project (BWIP)

Swirling & Weight: Turns Out, We’re Both Right! (Real Life Story of Big Girl Finding Love THEN Getting Skinny)

Today post inspired one of the beautiful chicas of the BB&W Crew to write me and say this:

Loved the article on Plus Size Women. This is the picture I would have uploaded onto the site and I was over 214lbs because I stopped looking at the scale once it said 214lbs lol. Back then it was my enemy now it’s my friend.

BEFORE: Kai at 214 lbs

Then I started gushing like a giggly teenager, and said this:

Tell me what you did to lose the weight and I’ll do a before and after post just to give the girls some inspiration. Did it help your love life? How did you feel after you lost the weight? What advice would you give other women who are facing weight challenges?

And THEN, she’s like:

I started working out, stopped eating after 7pm, cut back on eating fast food and yes it did help my love life. When I was over 214lbs I didn’t have a problem getting dates with a white man but they were usually older or out of shape white men, not the Hollywood types that I’m attracted to. After I began losing weight the men that I am attracted became attracted to me. The truth hurts sometimes but if you want the Chris Evans, Brad Pitts, Tyler Launters of the World you HAVE to get your body together.

I feel 100% better about myself after losing weight and as I continue to lose weight. I no longer have to go to Specialty stores to go shopping. The compliments from the opposite sex is no longer “Oh you have such a Pretty Face or a Beautiful Smile”.

My advice to other black women who are facing weight challenges is to make a regiment and stick to it. Don’t say you’re going to start eating healthy tomorrow, just do it today, start going to the gym even if it’s just 2 or 3 days a week for one hour. BW are nurturers, they ALWAYS put other people before themselves but it’s time we start putting ourselves FIRST for once. BW are more likely to die from complications from obesity-related illnesses then any other race group and if that’s not a wake up call then I don’t know what is.

And she got her man:

Woo! Get it, Kai! He's a cutie!

And THEN she told me this and you could have knocked me over with a feather:

I have a SECRET to tell you Chris lol. I met my bf on Facebook, we had A LOT of the same interests/belonged to the same groups and we were born on the same day and YEAR. So b/c of that Facebook suggested me as a friend to him.. I didn’t even have a picture of myself up at that time I had a cartoon character as my default picture and he said it didn’t matter how I looked he knew we would at least be friends. We met up and hit it off RIGHT away. Shortly thereafter we began officially dating, that’s when he brought up my weight PROBLEM, I got SO DEFENSIVE. I mean DEFENSIVE, it’s almost embarassing to admit, but it’s true and he told me “I’m not ashamed of your weight or I wouldn’t have asked you to be my girlfriend, take you around my family and out places but I do want you to be around long enought for us to enjoy our lives together”. That shut me up REAL quick, my Babe is a Google fanatic and he googled ALL of the health complications that being overweight causes for black women. I swallowed my pride after talking to my mom who convienced me I was crazy for not listening to him and I better not let this man go.

That’s when I started to work out slowly and get my weight together and now it’s beginning to become second nature to me. Thanks for taking the time out to read all of this. Keep up with the great articles, I look forward to them daily.


So…see! You CAN find a great guy if you’re plus-sized. You WILL get more attention from quality rainbeaus if you get fit. AND losing weight IS about your health FIRST.

The end.

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