Family

The Black Folks School of Disciplining Children

Written by Penelope Farthing

We talk a lot about relationships on this platform, and sometimes, we talk about the result of these relationships, which are children. I don’t have children myself, so take this post with a grain of salt. However, I don’t have to be a parent to recognize some truly sick patterns that the black community upholds. Today’s topic at hand is corporal punishment. Spanking, beating, whooping, or whatever you call it.

 

First things first. I am sick of people saying they got whipped and whooped as a kid and they turned out fine. The bar for “fine” is yet to be determined, as so many black people are walking around with anger issues, misplaced aggression, and undiagnosed mental health conditions.  Their communication skills are abysmal and solve conflicts with violence (eg.: the domestic violence rate in the community). Or they jump from relationship to relationship, romantic or otherwise and end up in a different flavor of abusive situation, and when things aren’t “popping off”, it’s considered boring. A lot less people are actually “fine” than comment sections would have you believe.

This “inspiration” for this post was of a video of a little black boy who was misbehaving at school and incurred the straight up wrath of his mother. Please note: the video below is VERY graphic. For those who did not or were unable to watch, it features a mother beating the living daylights of her son who was acting out at school, with a side of f-bombs and calling him the n-word for good measure. It is absolutely galling and if you are sensitive to child abuse, please do not watch.

 

This level of abuse (not discipline, abuse) seems to be on parallel with punishments doled out in the days of slavery by white massa. Instead of letting those barbaric methods go by the wayside, not only have some black people adopted it as a way of “disciplining” their children, they also:

Defend it

The person who posted this video uses the crying laughing emoji to express their thoughts, and says they feel worse for the teacher than the child who was abused on camera. The very sentence “I got beat and I turned out fine” is a defense of such extreme behavior. You personally may have gotten beat, maybe not to this level – but by posting that under videos like the one linked above, the implication is that such a beatdown will not have a lasting impact on a developing child’s psyche.

Draw false comparisons to other races’ methods of discipline

Whenever videos like these start trending, a common comparison is drawn between black children, who were enrolled in the Beatdown Academy School of Punishment, and white children, whose punishments are stereotypically listed as getting grounded or a time out. White children are abused, a fact of which I’m well aware. However, that is not the point I’m trying to make. Black people will criticize when white children act a plum fool in public, and say things like “that’s why Karen needs to beat that ass” or “that child wouldn’t be talking to me like that!”. And for all the beatings that are laid down on the butt, back, arm and face of our children, what do we have to show for it?

Act surprised when a child grows up to hate their parents, or worse

I don’t even know this woman and I hate her. If this is how she gets down with witnesses, and a camera, how does she treat this little kiddo behind closed doors? So when he turns 18 and decides never to speak to her again, could you blame him?

For all the talk of every baby being a blessing (separate post about that coming soon), was this child treated like a blessing, or a curse? For all this almighty beatdown some black parents are doling out, what does the community have to show for it?

Well, the black boys often grow up to end up another statistic, whether that is as another brother in jail, or victim to gun violence. The black girls are running away from home, or falling pregnant out of season, or falling victim to sex trafficking at record numbers, possibly beguiled with the love and affection they are denied in the home.

 

It would not surprise me if that little boy grew up to not only hate his mother, but developed an unhealthy view of women that look like her. Or developed aggression towards anyone who crossed him. Studies have shown that spanking is ineffective, and children who are spanked often develop mental health problems in childhood and criminal behavior in adulthood.

 

This child and his four siblings, ranging in age from 1 to 12, were removed from the home pending further investigation. Five children were under the care of this woman. Five children potentially subjected to this for who knows how long.

With that in mind, why are we still using this so-called method to “discipline children”? What do you think about this? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Penelope, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.

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