I recently saw a video clip of a woman names Dolce Sloan, interviewed by Huffington Post Black Voices. Among other things, she said that she was “too busy being black to be a woman.” (Shout out to Kendall St. Charles, who was the first to bring up this issue. Check out her fan page here.)
This unfortunate comment gave me pause.
Then a light bulb came on. Her belief that “the struggle trumps all” is the reason for all of it. Of everything.
Because black women like her truly believe that being a woman is secondary to the race will allow for a host of things to be excused that no other race of woman would EVER tolerate.
It is that belief that allows for a near 80% out of wedlock rate.
It is that belief that allows for so many black women believe “marriage is for white people.”
It is that belief that allows for black women to quietly seethe yet tolerate black men dating and marrying interracially at nearly three times the rate.
It is that belief that black women stuff their troubles down their throats via carbohydrate overload.
It is that belief that allows young black girls to be exposed to sexual abuse by the age of 18 by the tune of 60%.
It is that reason that black women have so much undiagnosed mental illness.
The list goes on.
Meanwhile, Becky, Ming-Ling, and Sehnita know without a doubt that it is their birthright to practice hegemony and will hold out on childbearing until the find the best man for the job.
A few weeks ago I posted a video that drew a line in the sand: There are two types of black women in the world–those who realize they are women, and those who don’t allow that to be a priority. While Tiffany Haddish is a bit “rough around the edges,” she says something in a recent interview that I wish more black women would adopt when it comes to fighting everyone’s battles. When asked by a (probably) white female reporter from People magazine asked her about how ‘black Twitter’ is up in a lather about the lack of diversity at the Emmys, she says, ungracefully but effectively, “THAT’S NOT MY JOB.”
When are black women going to realize that not every fight is theirs?
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