Your question:  “Do men swirl in midlife because they “feel safe” and because they’ve already had their “lily white” children.

Answer:  No.

Compared to 25 years ago, black women are now, for various reasons, “more inclined” todate white men.  White men are now more inclined to date black women for comparable / parallel reasons.  These reasons:

1.  25 years ago, very few people were thinking that the “other” side of the BW/WM pairing was interested in the other.  This was somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophesy for both WM and BW.   

2.  There was very little opportunity to date because WM and BW did not socialize a lot 25 years ago.  

3.  BW and WM “both” had social pressures that discouraged them from dating each other.  BW had the Black Community. The forces discouraging WM from dating BW included:

Having spent several decades complying with the social expectations placed upon us (much like BW having spent several decades complying with the expectations placed upon them), some white men are now coming to the realization that they no longer need to comply with the restrictive expectations of others.  This realization has come with time and changing social conditions.

Much in the same way that black women have come to the realization they can date white men, white men have similarly come to the realization they are free to date black women.  In short, BW and WM have followed different — yet parallel paths — and have arrived at the same place.

Personally, I think black women were the first to arrive.  In recent years, the announcement that BW want to date WM has provided WM with the “permission” they need to pursue BW.     

On a personal level, the social changed is sparked when a man sees an attractive woman and has the thought — “I would like to get to know her better.”   Years ago, the nextthought would have been, “…but i can’t.”  Now, I white man is more likely to say — “Hey,maybe I can!”

Paul

P.S.  At this point in my life, it has nothing to do with the making of “lily-white children.” This claim is more of a projected belief by others.  In the past 25+ years, some black men developed the behavior (later normalized through rap music) where they would intentionally impregnate black women — or several black women (to have the same color child) —- and then date/mate a higher status white woman.  This behavior (of black men) is considered an accepted strategy amongst portions of the black male community.  (Just watch You-Tube and/or listen to rap.) Ironically, there is little documented evidence of white men intentionally impregnating white women (to have white babies) — and then abandoning their women so that they could then pursue their fantasy of having a committed relationship with a black women.  WM (such as myself) had committed relationships with white women.  It did not work.  Now we realize we are free to date black women — and it is very appealing to know that beautiful black women are interested in dating us WM.