True or False? “White Guys Only Date Black Women After They’ve Had White Kids with White Women!”

We spend a lot of time on this blog talking about white guys who date black women–no surprises there. Lots of those connections are being made online, and while there are tons of success stories, I’ve heard more than a few young black women bemoan that many white rainbeaus hitting on them are in their 40’s and beyond, previously married and with nearly-grown, fully Caucasian offspring. Which leads to fodder for the IRR detractors and GAT-DL to assume that white men are choosing black women as “sloppy seconds” after they’ve wifed up ‘Becky’ and had the requisite 2.5 white kids.

But is this notion the truth? Are white guys giving their best years to white women, then after the kids and divorce, moving towards something different and new? Not necessarily. Ladies we are living at the cusp of a major shift in BW/WM relationships, and what we are seeing isn’t men choosing their second choice, but finally feeling free to pursue what they probably have wanted all along.

Think about it. A person in their 40’s and 50’s has seen the world change A LOT. Twenty years ago is was about as weird to see a white man married to a black woman as it was to see a purple unicorn walking down Wall Street. The social consequence for both the males and females were pretty steep, and most people just weren’t up for the challenge. Bucking the norm takes some steel-reinforced cajones. But now that you can’t really thrown a stone far enough not to hit an interracial couple, more and more non-black men are realizing for the first time that black women are available to them for serious relationships without the crushing social consequences of yesteryear.

I decided to do a little research and ask two beloved members of the BB&W Crew, Jeff and Paul, to give their take. They are both seeing black women and have kids from a previous marriage. I think you’ll find what they have to say quite enlightening.


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