On Vetting: How Men Run Game By Holding Your Past Against You!


He says he doesn’t want any secrets between you.

He says your past doesn’t matter…but he still just wants to know.

Everything. The age you first got kissed. If you played spin the bottle. How many sexual partners you’ve had and when, where, and how many times, all in the name of “trust and full disclosure.”


It’s been my experience that men who DEMAND this type of “dirty details” disclosure are of two camps: a) Deeply insecure and controlling, b) He’s a master manipulator who is information gathering to hold your past against you for nefarious purposes. Both are bad news.

A man (or woman) is NOT entitled to knowing your entire sexual history. Some things just need to stay mysterious, know what I mean? The only two things your partner is entitled to know is whether or not you have a currently untreated vernal disease or a chronic STI (like herpes or HIV), and if you’re of child-bearing age, whether or not you’re on some form of birth control.

It’s also fine to indulge in “sexy chat,” like…asking if your partner has ever made love on the beach, in a park or movie theatre (harhar), but they need not know the name, rank, and social security number of that person. It’s irrelevant. He or she is with YOU now. So FOCUS on THEM.


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