Written by Penelope Farthing
Landlords vet potential tenants, employers vet potential employees. In a market where you are the prize to be won (despite what memes might say), it is incredibly important to vet potential suitors. But what does vetting mean? And how can we do it? Some handy tips are listed below.
- Do a bit of detective work.
This can range from a simple Google search of their name to paying a reputable service for a full-on dossier of information. For people who use online dating platforms, if you are not ready to Skype yet, a reverse image search is your friend. In the age of social media, you can learn a lot about a person from where their likes and subscribes lie. With the world getting smaller through technology, it is easier than ever to get the wool pulled over your eyes if you don’t do your due diligence. Use whatever method you deem appropriate to make sure you’re not being hoodwinked.
- Get tested.
Look, it may be a cynical opinion to have, but what I’m about to say is true. Love can be fleeting, but despite pharmacological advantages, viruses like HIV and herpes are forever. Your health should be of utmost importance, so to prevent becoming another statistic, visit your local clinic or pick up an at-home testing kit before getting intimate.
- Talk about his previous relationships.
When relationships end, they often end for a reason. While it is natural to harbor some resentment to the other party (for a little while, anyway), do pay attention to the language he uses about the ex. It’s one thing for him to say “it just wasn’t right so we moved on amicably”, and something entirely different to hear him say “that bitch this” and “this ho that”.
- Ask questions and listen carefully to the answers.
To learn more about your potential new beau, be sure to ask a mix of probing questions. No two people in the history of the universe has agreed on every single thing, but asking difficult questions can elucidate some potential deal breakers that would not be revealed if you only asked surface level questions like “what’s your favorite XYZ?”
- For men with children, observe his involvement in their lives.
If you are interested in a man who has children, do take notice of his relationship with them (and his ex-wife/baby-mama, too). Does he dote on his kids frequently, or is he more of a Christmas-Birthday-Special Event parent? Depending on where he falls, and how you feel about it, he may not be mate material, especially if you have or want children of your own.
Vetting your potential romantic partner is an important part of every relationship, regardless of race or ethnicity. In order to find the best mate for you, make sure you do your due diligence before embarking on your new adventure.
How do you vet prospective suitors? Share your tips in the comments below!