This morning I woke up to a tag on Facebook that said this:
“Black Women Moving On Articles like this are the reason why although I have found past discussions about her to true unfortunately I still have respect for what Christelyn Karazin does. I’m not darker skinned, but I am really beginning to notice the shots against beautiful black women of a darker hue in particular. These girls are probably fresh out of high school and in college. I was alittle shocked by how he went in on them. But then again he is recently divorced from a black woman and has a black son I believe. The next generation of black boys are being silently mentored to stop paying attention to black women let alone marry them. It’s not just about colorism anymore. Your daughters are being boycotted so I suggest you put them in German class and get them their passport early. Let them do exchange programs in high school and stop being so fearful.”
So out of curiosity, I followed the link to the story provided, titled, “A Grown Black Man Response to Crystal Valentine & Aaliyah Jihad – “To Be Black and Woman and Alive”
Now before I move forward, I’m recommending you DO NOT go to this man’s blog and try to argue with him. It will do no good. The link is there for only one purpose–to slap you awake.
Last week we discussed “To Be Black and Woman and Alive,” and how moving it was to hear and see the pain of not just these girls, but the collective pain that many of us have felt in some point of our lives when we were told we were too dark, too ugly, too whatever by the black men we thought should love us. The rejection has been palpable, and has reverberated worldwide. In short, enough people could identify with this poem, which probably means it should be accepted as fact. Black women are devalued by their men as a collective. Individual results may vary.
But the writer of the piece I’m referencing frankly doesn’t give a phuck about your pheelings:
He opens with,
“I see why ugly sistas love salt and vinegar flavored potato chips because that’s all their ugly behind got to offer this world, some salty hate and vitreous vinaigrette. This video came across my social media wire and I quickly severed the social media connection to that chick immediately for even passing along this cray cray crap. In this article, let’s review this video or poem or whatever this crap is and give an honest assessment from a black man and how we black men should respond.”
Then he goes on,
“Yeah, I said they are ugly because they are ugly and they look and act like the shit stains on my drawas. I’m just saying, none of them got a booty and I’m damn sure not interested in hitting it either. If I was a young black male student and walked by them, I would clutch my textbooks and be like “ugghh!” and walk on by practicing in my head how to say “ni hao” to the chicks I’m trying to holla at – that’s just being honest and truthful and that’s what we going to be in this article.”
“The one thing you learn when you grow up around adversity and negativity is never become ugly like the environment around you – rise above it to be the shining star you are meant to be. Never become a victim or a reactionary to the negative environment you are surround in. If you do become bitter to the negativity, then you become a byproduct of the negative stuff and you will never be the beautiful and shining person you could have been. Because all you will end up being is ugly and that’s what these sistas in this video are, just ugly.
These two ugly ass broads chosen to express themselves as negative whiny victims – I don’t give a fuck about their ugly ass or their stupid ass poem and they can go suicide themselves like the rest of those dark-skinned red lip stick wearing sistas because they chose to be a victim and not a conqueror of the negative environment that we all are dealing with. You ain’t going to win a damn thing in life being an ugly victim but you will win immediately when you decide you not going to allow this negative environment make you a negative victim and choose instead to dedicate your life to rising above your situation.”
Okay I have to interject here. Rise above, he says? What do you think black women HAVE been doing?! We run circles around black men when it comes to education attainment, starting businesses, and career growth. WE HAVE RISEN. But here’s the problem with his commentary of “just ignore it.” Attacking a woman on her looks his a very visceral nerve in the female psyche. Telling a young girl that, no matter how much she achieves in life, she’ll always be substandard because she’s not light skinned, curly-haired with a butt like a donkey. You can not RISE ABOVE something you were born with and something you can not change. You can choose to reject gangs. You can choose to reject drugs. You can choose to do well in school. But you can not and do not chose your level of melanin. You can not and do not choose the texture of your hair. You can not and do not choose how big your ass and tits will be. The only way for a black woman to “rise above” from this particular ugliness is to bleach her skin, process her hair with toxic chemicals, and undergo plastic surgery. In which case, the women who do so will still be mocked for being fake, “hair hats” and looking like THOTS. It’s a no-win situation that you can not pull your bootstraps out of so, stop pissing on my leg and telling me it raining, Leroy.
Attacking a woman on her looks by the individuals who are important in her life leaves deep psychological wounds, that affect how she views her romantic worth, dating currency, and marital options. We have legions of black girls and women who truly believe that no matter what they achieve, it will never be enough. These women are told through word and deed that they should just take whatever shit on a plate they are given, and to feel grateful for it. The black men who attack us based on our looks are well aware of this. Being marginalized based on beauty or the lack of it is our achilles heel, our soft underbelly. It hits us where it hurts.
We black men are going to do what the fuck we want to do and if we brothas don’t like flat booty dark skinned broads, then we don’t fucking like flat booty dark skinned broads. A bunch of ugly ass broads citing some cray cray poetic bullshit ain’t going to change the way we brothas think either. I really don’t like dating black chicks in 2015 either after all the bullshit I dealt with the sistas. What you sistas don’t get and what you missing the whole point is the reason why we brothas stop dating your flat booty dark skinned ass in the first place.
You sistas were negative and full of shit – we brothas decided we are not going to become victims of a negative environment where sistas using cops to attack black men, using the court system to keep a black man away from his children, fucking knuckleheads instead of marrying black men, conspire with liberals to abort our unborn black children and undermine First Lady Michelle Obama watching a show call Scandal and then watch reality TV of sistas fighting each other. No, we brothas made the decision to rise above the negative environment you sistas brought forth and find something better – I found a lot of Arab sistas, Indian sistas, Chinese sistas and Catholic Latina sistas who have core values and show outward respect for the black man that respect himself and made something out of himself and so has a lot of other brothas.
Stop being an ugly ass sista and rise the fuck up from the negative environment you keeping yourself in.
Okay; I take it all back. The blogger is right. We DO need to rise above all this negative bullshit and LEAVE. Leave in droves. Stop begging to be loved by the very men who hate you, and go where you are celebrated, not tolerated. We “ugly ass sistas” will rise up out of this squaller and into the arms of Greg, Pedro, Anthony, Silue, and Mohammad. And all you “men” who are thinking about coming here saying I’m hating on black men, you can go “suicide yourself.”