Arielle Loren is the Editor-in-Chief of Corset Magazine, the go-to magazine for all things sexuality. Embracing curiosity, honoring sensuality, and celebrating sex, their most recent issue tackled all things Oral Pleasure from oral sex to taste of food.
She took some time out of her busy schedule to talk about the new issue, and what (if any) hang ups black women have about performing and receiving oral pleasure.
Why is it so hard for black women to embrace oral sex?
I actually think that many black women do embrace oral sex, but simply don’t discuss it in public. The black female writers in our magazine are the exception, and don’t mind sharing their stories on a public platform. However, it’s rare that I come across a black woman in private that says she doesn’t participate in fellatio or receiving cunnilingus. On the basic level, oral sex is a powerful part of foreplay, getting your partner open, and creating an arousing physical connection. It’s also great for stimulating momentum during intercourse to keep you and your partners’ genitals lubricated, receptive, and attentive.
Up until recent history, oral was something that only white women did. Why was that?
In our Oral Pleasure issue, we have an article called “Swallow Your Prude: The History of Oral Sex,” which actually reveals the exact opposite. When it comes to sex, people of color or African descent have been engaging in oral sex for centuries. If you look at art inspired by the Indian Kama Sutra or ancient Egypt, there are countless visual depictions us openly enjoying oral sex. The stereotype is that black women don’t enjoy giving oral sex to their male partners, and that it is a “white woman” thing to do. But again, it’s rare that I come across a black woman that says she doesn’t participate in performing fellatio. I’ve even had conversations with women in their 70s about this topic, and they’ve affirmed that they’ve gotten down too in their day. Some might prefer receiving versus giving, but black women orally pleasuring their male partners is not a recent thing. We just might be more open to discussing it in public now.
Do you think women who don’t embrace oral sex are in jeopardy of having their partners develop a wandering eye?
I think it depends on the partner. If these women have male partners that don’t need or desire oral sex, their preferences likely won’t be an obstacle. However, if these women are with men who want oral sex and aren’t receiving it, that’s an issue of sexual incompatibility. So yes, I expect there will eventually be issues, whether it’s a wandering eye if they’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship or simply conflict about how their partners want to experience pleasure with them. However, I also feel that men and women, particularly in long-term relationships and/or with children, need to be aware of how outside factors could kill their sexual desire in general. Many women are tired after a long day of childrearing, taking care of household responsibilities, or numerous other tasks that many women juggle each day in addition to being wives or girlfriends, so I do feel that their partners need to work with them to alleviate some of that responsibility and stress. That way, they can have more frequent, open, and fulfilling sex.
Can oral sex be learned, or should we just accept that some women and men are better at it than others?
Oral sex can absolutely be learned. The Oral Pleasure issue has numerous step-by-step articles for women and men looking to orally please their partners. While some may learn faster than others, oral sex is a learned skill. So whether you’re looking to improve your talents or teach your partner how to please you better, there’s something in this issue for everyone.
Corset Magazine’s Oral Pleasure issue is available for download at http://corsetmagazine.com along with the past Orgasms and Nudity issues.
Oral sex is definitely a part of the whole sexual gamut. I feel that people who are afraid of it, are repressed due to religion usually, and it's a deal breaker. My GF and I love doing that to each other, and certainly technique is learned, yet, it is a natural way of expressing loving feelings and intimacy.
- spam
- offensive
- disagree
- off topic
Like