Up For Discussion: Is There a War on Men?

And just because a woman assigns to feminism and women having rights does not mean she doesnt want or like to be treated as "feminine." Our curves, ovaries and smiles dont disappear just because we dont expect to be treated like doormats and mules. 

I dont understand women whom are against feminism but think that their ability to currently work, choose men of any race, and create blogs has nothing to do with feminism.  While women pledge allegiance to men -men pledge allegiance to themselves. And while we claim black women are stupid for supporting those who dont support them- why do women think supporting men as a whole of any other color makes  them smart? Just like with blacks, when women start seeing themselves as full humans like those currently in power- that is when life will be a bit more balanced for all. We will have less instances of rape, domestic violence and killings of women when women scream ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! We arent going to take it anymore for the sake of seeming womanly! Being womanly is a birthright not a male-given order. 

I guess I'm mostly traditional..I plan on working, most likely full time but I would like it if my husband had a white collar job and made more money than me, etc... I also would not mind cooking more and doing more chores around the house, as long as it somewhat evened out (he mowed the lawn, etc...and helped out with the dishes, clothes, and children). I guess in that way, I want to be like my mother, who stayed at home or just worked part time most of the time (she worked full time for some time when I was little). .while still speaking her mind...except I will have more education and be able to help my husband out with the income..because one really negative thing I witnessed growing up is how angry and stressed my dad was because he was basically the sole bread winner (but honestly, it was mostly because of his poor financial decisions when younger--credit card debt, etc..and the fact that they had 4 children..seems like more than the average family these days..plus he had high blood pressure and just overall anger management issues)

He doesn't have to be an extreme macho man (like them to show their sensitive and passionate side) but he has to have enough stereotypical "manliness" to turn me on...inside and out...I basically want to work because I want to and I want to achieve my own goals and help my husband/ family out, not because I HAVE to or my husband can't or doesn't want to provide for us. I'm 23 so believe me, I know about the pussyfied guys...some of my ex boyfriends played video games almost all day..such a turn off!! ugh. At least I know what I don't like now!! Now I don't mind some video games but some guys are so ridiculous with it..that's all they do...they're lazy because their mama's babied them their whole life (I also don't date men with no father figure...I could list a thousand reasons...). Some women are happy if they are more well off (financially) than a man, but I'm pretty sure I won't be... I want a man who makes me feel safe, protected, secure (meaning I can trust him with finances and other stuff) and most of all, loved.

Enough of this War on Men talk ... let's go back to fighting the War on Women!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_5CENxAqWGd4/SncE9JY6zvI/AAAAAAAAAH4/_0-bXcJ4vpU/s1600-h/Untitled1.jpg

I am assuming that Dr. Laura personally went out and obtained a significant sample of sperm from men, in order to verify her claim of lowered sperm counts.

BTW, having worked in a female/feminist-dominated profession (speech therapy), I did work for several women who looked and acted exactly like the picture above - not fun!

I've said this in other posts, so I'll keep thing short - yes, women are earning more liberal arts degrees than men - to the point that the liberal arts campuses are getting 'starved' for single-males to date - but not for the STEM courses, and particularly for the 'hard' subjects, such as engineering, math-oriented sciences and the various technologies that keep this civilization running.

There are only so many 'earning slots' for journalists, clinical psychologists, women's studies, fabric designers, sociologists and 'general studies' majors - many of the STEM programs have special entitlements to draw women and minorities to them, but such often go unfilled - when was the last time you or I saw more then a token woman either operating, maintaining or transporting heavy diesel equipment - it is NOT from lack of gender-specific ability (as Dr. Law has pointed out, there are many female Marine Reserve Cargo Masters and helicopter pilots).

How timely is this...

"Oh God, Please Don’t Let White Male Victimhood Be the Next Big Social Movement"

http://jezebel.com/5965429/oh-god-please-dont-let-white-male-victimhood-be-the-next-big-social-movement

Dr. Laura is out there attempting to sell cow chips again. Will she never learn? Well. No. There are people willing to buy them. In fact they need to buy them and gobble them up whole.

There is a war on men, white men specifically. It is not women or minorities who are waging it. No it's the white guys higher up on the food chain from the guys are getting screwed who are waging it. Women and minorities are just the cover.

Many men, white men specifically are finding that they are spare parts. That they are not needed to keep the wheels of commerce running. These are men who do not have the skill sets to compete successfully in the new knowledge based economy. They feel left out and sold out. They don't like it. So a scapegoat is needed. Enter women and minorities who have the skill sets needed to succeed.

You see there is a sense of entitlement among a certain subset of males. Joe Sixpack. They feel they built this nation. All by their lonesome. They did all the heavy lifting, carrying everyone else so they own it. At least they were told that to get their buy in.

Rich Guy: “This is all for you. Now suit up and pick up that musket, or whatever arms we are using for the current battle and shoot that Red Coat or who ever we tell you to shoot. Die for the cause.”

Joe Sixpack: “You going?”

Rich Guy: “Me? Ahhh no I'll stay back, run things from here and make sure your legacy remains intact.”

Joe Sixpack. “Your kid is sitting around doing nothing. He going?”

Rich Guy. “Ahh Ummm no. He has other stuff to do. Besides heh, heh, heh, (slap on the back) that pantywaist is not half the guy you are so best he stays out of your way. Nope if anyone deserves the glory it is real men like yourself.”

Joe Sixpack. “Damn straight. Sign me up.”

Now you need someone to hold up next to our friend Joe so that he feels better than. The rich guy ain't dumb. “Don't look at me.” So enter minorities and women. Each have had their place but unfortunately each due to pesky things like changes in the economy, society, laws and the like have changed position.

Women and minorities got educations, the right to vote, got training and jobs and became down right independent of Joe. In fact they compete very effectively with Joe. Joe is not digging this. In fact Joe is majorly pissed. Joe never had much but he did have the belief that he stood head and shoulder above those others. He was the MAN. But Joe was never the man. The real MAN was and is Rich Guy and Rich Guy was and is giving Joe his marching orders just like everyone else. The real MAN is still giving Joe his marching orders. The real MAN was telling Joe who is responsible for his angst was and Joe bought it. Joe wanted to believe it because Joe thinks he is just as good as the real Man. Why all of this? We cannot have a whole bunch of pissed off Joe Sixpacks focusing their anger at Rich Guy. That would bring down Rich Guy's plush house of cards. Rich Guy is not playing that. So he has to deflect Joe's pissed offness to, that's right women and minorities.

Rich Guy is using people like Dr. Laura, Rush, Fox news and the like it to deflect er hep Joe to the source of him problems. Joe digs what he is hearing so he tunes in. Rich Guy digs it also since Joe in pissed at someone else and not him and he makes a few bucks out of the deal since he owns the mic. It's a slam dunk except for Joe since things for him are really not getting better. But hey what do I know.

So now the problem with men are boiled down to four areas per Dr. Laura. OK girlfriend. What ever you say. If Joe buys that it is cool with me.

I was gonna say a bunch of stuff, but then I read the article that ChristieRJohnson  posted.  It pretty much sums up everything I had to say.  Here it is again:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/29/living/war-on-men/index.html?hpt=hp_bn11

My three additions are:

1) If a woman had more money than me, or a better job than me (better being subjective because I love my job even though I make an absurdly small amount of money) then I would NOT be intimidated or angry, and I would ESPECIALLY not be "emasculated."  That's what this all comes down to, is the discussion of whether or not men feel emasculated.  At one point in my life, I would have preferred that because I was confident that I could make a living as a composer from home.  I still think I could do that, but I'm enjoying teaching too much right now, which is my choice.  I believe a woman should be afforded the EXACT same choice.

2) The point is that it doesn't matter how someone, in this case men, feels.  It matters how things actually are, as they are occurring in reality.  The only times I feel like less of a man is when I realize that I made poor decisions in my past that have repercussions on the present, or when I think about getting my ass kicked in a fight because I've never made it a priority to take martial arts/boxing lessons.  These however, were, and are, all under my control and jurisdiction.  Nobody, and especially not a woman, had any direct bearing on these decisions as they were, and are, purely my own.

3) Goes hand in hand with my first addition.  There just is no reason for a man to even make the argument that women have "emasculated them," for two reasons:

Reason #1 - I was a boy once, and as a boy I pitied myself often.  In fact, I acted like a boy until I was in my early twenties.  Oh, poor me.  Here's the deal: Pity parties are for boys, not men.  The real "T" is that these "emasculated" men have not been emasculated at all.  In order to be emasculated you had to have balls in the first place.  Quit crying.

Reason #2 - As a conductor, I've come to the knowledge that if my choir sounds bad, it is most certainly NOT their fault.  How a choir sounds, acts, and performs is solely a reflection on their leader.  Translation: If I suck at my job, they'll suck at singing.  How it relates to this discussion: If I suck at being a man, I will have no opportunities because I'm too busy wallowing in Reason #1 to get my ass off of the couch and do whatever it is I need to do for my life.

Avoid these "emasculated" men at all costs.  Sure, they could one day change but any change in their behavior or outlook on life will, most certainly, not come from anything you can do for them.  It's gonna take many lessons learned the hard way and stupid decisions made that they can't take back.  Whether they learn from these bad decisions is up to them, but don't wait for that to happen.  You might be waiting forever.  Take it from someone who knows from experience.

Every relationship is different. Traditional relationships are great if they work for you, but I know many women who have gotten burned badly because of being stay-at-home moms. They had no backup when their husbands left or lost their jobs. I have also heard from many men who sign up for traditional relationships, but then feel trapped because they are chained to terrible jobs, or are angry at their wives for being "lazy", or are upset that they have to share their earnings with a stay-at-home wife when they get a divorce. I know of many men who feel upset that they got "trapped" into traditional relationships and are stressed out that they have to carry the entire financial burden.

Sure, there are a handful of bitter men that are sad that this is not 1950, but most men have rolled with the punches. If men are falling behind in achievement, then perhaps that is because the drumbeat of "men are the kings of the castle" that some have grown to accept as true is making them complacent. That has nothing to do with women. The job market is rough for everyone, yo. Methinks that this "war" is made up. There are more options for those that want them, and plenty of ladies still wanting to do the traditional thing.

The men need to calm down. The world so far is their His-story. We are just starting to create our own. Damn America loves wars. lol

I am in agreement with most of the ladies on this thread. Traditional definitions have led to modern stereotypes. When we start accepting social norms as good advice, we lose sight of the fact that everyone is unique and important. And, not everything society tells us is important actually is. To me, there is nothing sexier than a man who takes care of his family. And, that doesn't just mean working hard outside the home. It means making bottles, putting on bandaids, and (attempting) to do hair. My husband is a super dad and a super husband. But, that has nothing to do with his paycheck.

I think the issue I have with the evidence behind this "war on men" is the medical aspect invoked. Maybe men's sperm counts are going down because we (as a human race) have moved further and further away from our natural instinctual selves. People are more docile. People are more overweight. I rebuke the notion that women are the cause of men's evolutionary changes. And, the mere fact that women are mentioned as a reason for it just further reiterates that stereotypes do little to address real socia issues.

I say, what works for your family is what works for your family. And, that may be different for everyone. But, if it is a healthy, loving environment, it shouldn't matter who does the finances, who pays the bills, or who washes dishes. Relationships are agreements between equals. And neither women nor men should get the short end of the stick when it comes to love.

This is an interesting issue. As much as I love my parents, I do not desire to have their marriage. They are "traditional" in the sense that my dad makes the most and all that and my mom is responsible for the kids, cooking, etc. Problem is my mom works as many hours as my dad does, takes care of  three little kids at home, pays all the bills (and not online lol), cooks all the meals, and oversees two elderly relatives care in a nursing home (which is much harder than most people think). The problem with our traditional sense of womanhood is that the woman could stay at home and do all those household duties. Now add on a 40+ hour a week job and try to still do everything and not experience burn out! Women need assistance from their partner to make it all work. 

There is no "war on men" rather we need men to extend their definition of what manhood can be. This might mean cooking a meal, taking a kid to a dentist appointment, or whatever else women have been traditionally expected to do. When men extend their definition of manhood, we will also have to take a look at our definition of womanhood. These are changing times and since I don't think women will be leaving the workforce so that men can feel like "traditional men", we will have to adjust and make positive new roles for the 21st century not some 1950s archetype.