Up For Discussion: Is There a War on Men?

I don’t normally listen to Dr. Laura since she was ran off AM Radio, but a free trial with XM Sirius got me listening to the cranky old bat again, at least temporarily. During one of her monologues, she was bemoaning the plight of men–how now they are lower achieving in academics than women, trending lower sperm counts, and generally becoming pussy-fied, and pointed to four things that are to blame:

The Sexual Revolution

The Women’s Liberation Movement


Video games

She said that these four things combined have contributed to men feeling rudderless in society with a very real gender shift in which women become the providers while the men sit back and watch porn and play video games. Dr. Laura said that the Sexual Revolution, which allowed women to make their own reproductive decisions and delay child bearing has lead to the male gender trending toward complete disinterest in marriage. Women’s Lib and the push for education was “really great for women who wanted to work,” but displayed the male as the main bread winner and ostensible head of the household. Pornography has made it almost unnecessary to actually engage a woman in courtship and men have begun to fake orgasms as they face disappointment that the real thing doesn’t measure up to the acrobatics porn stars a famous for. And lastly,  video games are a way to escape and “blow things up” and generally do “man stuff” that is no longer positively reinforced in our new, gender-neutral society.

Now, I’m just speaking for myself, but I want a man to be a man. I love that The Hubster pays the bills and I take care of the kids during the day. I love that he mows the lawn, takes out the stinky trash, and fixes stuff. I love that he’s better in math than me and manages our IRA. I love saying, “Go ask your dad,” or, “If Daddy said no, then….” In other words, I love being his wife. I love depending on him. I trust him, because he makes good decisions and together, he and I are raising awesome kids.

That said, it’s a very real possibility that this blog may one day allow for my husband to not work at all. Will he feel emasculated? I don’t think so. He likes the thought of not have to go into a job he’s not crazy about and pursue his own interests, like he’s allowed me to do for the past decade. And even if he won’t ever have to work, he’ll still be my hero, the man I look up to, the man I trust.

So…we have a traditional relationship. He’s the husband who makes most of the money and wears the pants, and I’m the wife who (mostly) doesn’t have to worry her “pretty little head.” Am I wrong for loving that? Some folks will think so. BUT! I also love the fact that I am a business owner making money and contributing to the household. When I’m busy with blog and book stuff, Mike picks up the slack with (mostly) no complaints. He values my role in the household and child rearing, and I respect his.

I would NOT want to be a single woman out there right now, though. The consequences of gender equalization will some stuff folks might not have ever expected. Do I agree with Dr. Laura? God, I hope she’s wrong. But she’s not the only one who’s noticed.

The so-called dearth of good men (read: marriageable men) has been a hot subject in the media as of late. Much of the coverage has been in response to the fact that for the first time in history, women have become the majority of the U.S. workforce. They’re also getting most of the college degrees. The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women.

Read more here.

But I have this niggling feeling that there’s some truth to what she’s saying. Fellas, ladies, what say you? Ladies, are you ready to wear the “pants?”

Is this what you single ladies want?

Here’s another point from that piece that I found notable…and often, true.

In a nutshell, women are angry. They’re also defensive, though often unknowingly. That’s because they’ve been raised to think of men as the enemy. Armed with this new attitude, women pushed men off their pedestal (women had their own pedestal, but feminists convinced them otherwise) and climbed up to take what they were taught to believe was rightfully theirs.

Now the men have nowhere to go.

And sadly, I’ve seen this for myself, and it’s…unnerving.

Contrary to what feminists like Hanna Rosin, author of The End of Men, say, the so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to become self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families – it’s in their DNA. But modern women won’t let them.

What say you, men? Do you feel powerless? Are you pissed off?

Here’s the conundrum: I love what the Sexual Revolution and Women’s Lib achieved *in general* but with every shift, there comes consequences. Are we ready for them?