Interracial Friendly States, City by City, County by County!

I’m working on a master list NEVER BEEN DONE before (not sure why, tho) on an interracial dating blog. Back when I co-work Swirling, we created a list of interracial-friendly cities and states, and some of them were not really a surprise–Los Angeles and pretty much all of California, parts of Texas, some fly over states, and swaths of regions on the East Coast and South. But…we went really general. So today I thought to myself, “Self, why not pool from the incredible IR community you’re connected to and get really specific?! By the way, Self, you need to really wash your hair and you smell like soup.” 

So I’m off building the MASTER IR-FRIENDLY LIST of CITIES, COUNTIES, NEIGHBORHOODS and TOWNSHIPS that you can feel free to pursue employment, real estate, and vacation spots and know for certain that no one will throw stones, harass you, or otherwise make you feel miserable. It’s also an awesome list for the single girls and gents who are contemplating relocation.

HiRes

So here’s the working list. I’m working with the folks at InterracialDating.com to create some sort of info graphic or interactive map because we both just love you guys to pieces.

So do me a favor, folks. Look at the list and feel free to confirm, deny, vehemently debate, agree, disagree, or add your city, county, state or township along with a reason or two why it’s a good place for us to plant some roots.

Swirl-Friendly Cities

Oak Park, IL
Temecula, CA
Hampton Roads, VA
Austin, TX
Fairfax County, VA
Mount Airy, PA (predominately black—might not be a fit)
Louden County, VA
Tarrant County Arlington, TX
Maple Shade, NJ
Fredericksburg, Stafford County, Virginia
Denton, TX
Long Island, NY
Manhattan, NY
New Haven, CT
 Coventry, CT
Riverside, CA
Bay City, MI
Lefferts Garden, Brooklyn
Maplewood, NJ
Arlington, TX
Las Vegas, NV
San Francisco, CA
Los Angeles, CA
Oakland, CA
Pittsburgh, PA
Irvine, CA
Santa Monica, CA
Stockton, CA
Chapel Hill, Carrboro NC
Ann Arbor, MI
Royal Oak, MI
Ferndale,MI
Phoenix, AZ
Denver, CO
Fairfield County, CT
Porter Ranch, CA
Corona, CA
Dayton, OH
Seattle, WA
Pensacola, FL
Honolulu, HI
St. Louis, MO
San Diego, CA
San Joaquin County, CA
Tulsa, OK (?)
Monclair, NJ
Newark Ohio
Aurora, CO
Colorado Springs, Greeley, Boulder, and Longmont, CO
Washington Park, Stapleton, South Denver, and Thornton, CO
Greensboro, High Point, Winston-Salem, NC
St. Petersburg, Florida
Plantation FL
Pembroke Pines, FL
Vancouver, WA
Portland, OR
Myrtle Beach, SC
Berkley County, West Virginia
Boston, MA (really?)
Plano, TX
Sacramento, CA
Columbus, OH
Nashville, TN (ask Whitney)
Moorhead, Minnesota
Rogers, AR
Jacksonville Florida
Elkhart IN
Newark, DE
New Orleans, LA
Orlando, FL
South Haven, MI
Muskegon, MI
Charlotte, NC
Kannapolis, NC
San Antonio, TX
Raleigh, NC
Jersey City, NJ
Minneapolis, MN
Cerritos, CA
Long Beach, CA
Tampa, FL
Louisville, KY
Kalamazoo County, Michigan
Baton Rouge, LA
 Biloxi, MS
Lynchburg, VA
Virginia Beach, VA
Norwalk, CA
San Tan Valley, AZ
Decatur Illinois
White Bear Lake, MN
Cleveland, OH
Polk County, FL
Greater West Palm Beach, FL
Anaheim, CA
Reading, PA
Daytona Beach, FL
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Moline, IL
Kent,OH
Morgantown, WV
Columbus, OH
Canton, OH
Miami, FL
Hanford, CA
Placervile, CA
Newburgh, NY
Wasilla, Alaska
Waterloo, Iowa
Homerville, GA
Moorhead, MN
Rogers, AR
Elmira, NY (called Zebratown)
Newington, CT
Decatur, AL
Miami Dade, FL
Spring Hill, FL
Baytown, TX
Lexington, KY
Houston, TX (I’m skeptical)
Antioch, CA
Sandusky, OH
Woodstock, GA
Savannah, GA
St. Louis, MO
Muskegon, MI
Lancaster, PA
Birmingham, AL (really?!)
Columbia, MO
South Haven, Michigan
Smithfield, VA
Tacoma, WA
Atlanta, GA
Racine, WI
Rochester, NY

 

253 comments
mikeymike8937
mikeymike8937

I am a black man, from Jacksonville, NC (Home to Camp Lejeune Marine Corps Base) and I have found that Military bases are more diverse then small town in Eastern North Carolina. I live in Wilmington, NC and go to school at a PWI (University of North Carolina Wilmington). Most college towns in NC, are accepting of interracial couples. I am engaged to me future wife, who is white and we haven't experience any hatred toward us. She is from Cape Cod, MA. They are somewhat excepting but as for me and what I have witnessed in my life living in NC, Military towns, Some college cities, and Metropolitans in NC are interracial accepting and friendly. 


Thank you for the list because we were looking to move to Myrtle Beach/Conway, SC area soon and this was a huge help. I have been looking for a master list to help us decide and to give to my other interracial couple friends. So you can add:


Jacksonville/Camp Lejeune, NC

amandand
amandand

Almost all of those Michigan cities are Detroit suburbs and share a border with the city. Might as well say Detroit Metropolitan Area or Southeastern Michigan in general.

IonEnergy
IonEnergy

I would like to say, as someone living in, and born in Rochester, NY (but have lived elsewhere), that it should be crossed off this list, and Albany, NY should DEFINITELY take its place. I have never seen more BWWM pairings than in Albany, and lots of bachelors willing to date interracially to boot, and I lived in NYC for 7 years. Albany is more into pairings like these than NYC even...

Rochester on the other hand is extremely racist and segregated. My white stepdad and mom cannot even enjoy a meal without racist white female servers attempting to mock and practically poison them. Plus, the white guys here will fight for tooth and nail for fat white women over in shape black women. 

MsNYC4ever
MsNYC4ever

I would be forced to disagree with Hampton Roads. Although there are many, many mixed families. The blatant hatred displayed in this area is pervasive at work, in schools, and even among college students. If it were not for the military this place would not be as diverse as it is but interracial friendly, I would definitely not go that far. There are tremendous disparities throughout the area and once the children are off to school interacting with classmates, the true teachings of their parents at home come to light and it is not so accepting. I definitely would not place Hampton Roads nor Virginia Beach on this list because the racism runs very deep here.

ccdivine7
ccdivine7

Does anyone know about Salem, MA?

Beantowner
Beantowner

I know I'm late but I have to jump in and represent for Boston Swirling! I have lived in Boston for almost 5 years and am 32 days away from marrying my Canadian rainbeau!!! I know plenty of BW who are dating or married to WM and I definitely would not rule Boston out. There are still neighborhoods where racial tension runs high and boundaries still occur. But many of these neighborhoods are older areas of Boston, often dominated by local families who fit a Martin Scorsese/Ben Affleck movie (neighborhoods like Southie and Quincy come to mind). For various reasons many local guys are not as open to dating a woman of color and all of the swirling couples I know are transplants. I have also experienced racism in predominately black neighborhoods like Dorchester, Roxbury and Mattapan. It all depends on where you live/are and what communities surround you. *Disclaimer: this does not apply to everyone who lives in those neighborhoods and I know plenty of wicked awesome locals! And I am sure there are plenty of local guys, who may not have prejudiced families, and love to swirl – don’t rule anyone out :)


Many people do not realize that the city of Boston is small and the area called Boston is really the Greater Boston Area. It includes numerous cities and neighborhoods with very different vibes. Boston also has a large young adult population and lots of turnover due to the massive number of colleges and universities in the area. So there are some great areas for young adults in their 20s and 30s and young families. I live in Somerville and love the diversity around me. Somerville is going through a huge growth spurt and anyone who knew the area 10 years ago will tell you how much it has changed (and the rental prices are starting to reflect that). But cities like Somerville, Cambridge, Brookline, Newton, and Watertown and neighborhoods such as downtown Boston, Back Bay, Beacon Hill, and Jamaica Plain all make up “Boston” and provide lots of diversity and IR.


I would also recommend online dating for anyone struggling to date in Boston (another full disclosure: yes, Boston still has weird, wacky, guys online). I did find old school dating difficult in Boston and people weren’t as stranger friendly compared to growing up in South Florida. Boston is a strong city and requires some tenacity to live here. But I promise it’s an awesome place, full of swirlers!

AniceYantez
AniceYantez

I lived in Manhasset, Roslyn and Glen Cove.  All considered wealthy, snobby areas, but I never had a problem.  People at my job, in Jericho, joked that I should be wearing a sweater over my shoulders and have a dog on my arm.  A coworker who lived in my neighborhood did dress like that.  I never got stares or comments.  I was "hit on" a few times while getting coffee or doing groceries.  So I'm interested in why people think LI is so racist?  If it's the Italians, I moved there to be with an Italian.  Like anywhere, some are old school, but like any nationality, you can't clump them all together.

euo95
euo95

Can anyone tell me about BW/WM relationships in Hawaii? I'm really interested to know how I would fare over there. :]

Funmis3
Funmis3

ahahaahahhsaa Long Island? Looooool. Maybe things have changed from 22 years ago. I aint ever going back. Yonkers, NY should be on the list. Ive seen more bw/wm than ive seen anywhere. No one cares here.  In Manhattan only comments I heard came from Hispanics. Go figure.

Maxine
Maxine

I know we've had posts about Canada before.  Can anyone speak on their experiencing living/dating in Toronto or Vancouver?  I'm also curious about Utah since I'm outdoorsy and keep seeing places like Ogden, Park City, and Salt Lake pop up on various lists.  

imtheglue
imtheglue

I have to disagree with the idea of this list based on personal experience. I am from Pensacola, FL. I was born and raised there. I met my husband there and lived there for 30 years. I am now 35. I am a Black woman and my husband is a White man.  I have seen people in Pensacola snub us and people embrace us. 


About 4 years ago, after we had been married for nearly 4 years; God laid it on my husbands heart for us to move to Montana. I moved to Montana sight unseen. I had the notion that everyone in Montana were from Montana. Boy was I wrong! Most of the people who live in my part of MT are transplants from other states. A great number of these people are from California. 


To promote a list of interracially friendly states is to stereotype a state. People move all the time for different reasons. People are people and no one is the same. I think it's misleading to suggest that more people in a certain city are more open minded than others. I haven't had any problems in MT. This state has a very low statistic of minorities. Yet most of the minorities I have seen here are interracial couples. 


I have bought your book Swirling how to date mate and relate. I think it's great! I follow you online and love how you are healthy and promote eating healthy. I think it's wonderful that you are a positive role model. But, this is something that is just not right. Not all people think the same. It does not matter where they live or what they look like. 

Shasha7
Shasha7

Yes Boston, MA is interracial friendly. Worcester, MA is too. The whole state of MA

MzUltra
MzUltra

Stapleton (Denver) in the house. I think because in the past there were two military bases in the area Denver has been more open to IRR couples. Aurora is the land of the mixed kid. Highly educated BWs here are also more willing to date IRRly as well.

You just gotta love the Mile High City...all puns intended!!!!

TiariContreras
TiariContreras

Any city in Indiana should be on this list. I really don't know how CA made the list, was born and raised there and the swirly-ness I've encountered in the last 6 years living in Indiana exceeds that of most of my life in Los Angeles. And honestly here, the people do NOT care, they flaunt their IR proudly!

ToyaJaye
ToyaJaye

I'm curious about South Dakota. My bf's from Rapid City and wants to take me to meet his family next month. He has cousins there who are dating and married to BM and his sister, who lives down south like us, is married to a BM and his brother's ex-wife was an AW and was recently engaged to another AW (he lives in Rapid City). I guess I want to know what to expect when I step off the plane. :)

TJSgirl
TJSgirl

I agree about Hawaii. I was in Hawaii two weeks ago for my sister's wedding who is a black woman who married a Hawaiian man. They are very welcoming, laid back, and accepting of everyone. Also, there are a lot of Samoans, Japanese, Filipino, and Caucasian men who live there. My sister's new uncle-in-law even wanted me to stay and meet his son. When I told him 26 is a little too young for me, he proceeded to name the ages of his other four sons. He basically told me I could take my pick! Needless to say, I will return to Hawaii! :-)

CraftyLady
CraftyLady

I'm a friendly girl, but many people in Boston are not friendly to outsiders.  For context, I am Midwestern, so it was a shock just how rude and angry people are here for no real reason.  Especially if you are dark-skinned.  Perhaps women of lighter complexions or less African features have better experiences, but I have had people repeatedly stand on commuter trains or hunt for other seats rather than sit next to me.  (I've been told I smell nice and I don't take up more than one seat.)  I have heard the n-word more times than I ever heard it in WI (usually directed at black men, but really??), and when I moved from RI I was instructed by white friends where NOT to live because it would be a hassle (North End and Southie).  I have a heck of time finding men (that aren't fat, jobless, or old) who will even respond to me online.  So, no, I think Boston is a terrible place for darker ladies to date because there is a lot of pent up racism and it is very hard to know what their intentions are, if they ever speak to you at all.


I agree with the poster who said this is all subjective.  That's true.  I do have bad luck dating.  I'm lucky to have good friends and a job in my field, but I've never been successful dating due to shyness when I was young, and lack of interest until my late 20s.  I was a very late bloomer, but for context, once I decided to start dating in Rhode Island, I had more dates in 6 months than I have had in 3 years in Boston (maybe 5?).  To be fair, I did have a 5-month relationship 2+ years ago, and I just ended an 8-month relationship in January.


I'd love tips on making this place work for me, but I'm really just biding my time until I can move to a friendlier place.

charlesguthrie
charlesguthrie

Hi,

I am a social science researcher and doctoral student exploring the various aspects of interracial relationships that may answer some of these questions (I currently have two research projects in the design phase and others waiting funding opportunities).  I would love to connect with @Christelyn and keep everyone updated on my empirical findings.  

SirLoinDeBeef
SirLoinDeBeef

The problem, as I see it, is reporting via emotion-based individual experiences.

Such as, "Oh, San Diego, CA, is just not open to IRR, because I met a guy online, when I was out there for a month, and he was a total, racist jerk when I met him in person, that one time."

One instance ... one bad date ... and the total city area is dissed.

Now, I don't know any other way to discover if an area is open to 'swirling' then to gather dating experiences from a city/area.

But the better course would seem to be getting a sample (probably small, but not just 1 or 2), and sifting through that sample for some semblance of objectivity ... recurring dating themes ... instances of public approval/disapproval.

AlexChrisCope
AlexChrisCope

There should be no skepticism with Houston, TX! I live there, and there are TONS of interracial couples. I actually grew up in Fort Bend County, which was just named the most diverse county in the U.S.!

FashionistaOfColor
FashionistaOfColor

As far as Boston is concerned, there's a lot of swirling going on here, but most of it doesn't involve black women. I'd estimate that about 90% of the interracial couples I see up here consist of Asian women and white men. In Boston, I've never had anyone be forwardly racist towards my boyfriend and I when we're together, but I have experienced subtle racism. At one restaurant, we had a white waitress who was nice and chatty with the rest of the patrons but subtly rude towards us - she'd do things like purposely forget our order and spill water all over the table when she was refilling our glasses. 


I'm also wondering why other areas in New England aren't listed? I have swirling black female friends who've had luck dating in places like Providence, Rhode Island and Portland, Maine. 

RodR
RodR

Birmingham should be in the "moving on up" list, or swirl neutral.


As long as your aren't too far from the city limits. 20 miles in any direction wouldn't be as friendly.


As a native Alabamian, I don't see how Decatur AL got on the list. Huntsville AL is more deserving in my opinion.

MariaBartolo
MariaBartolo

As should Atlanta or any city in Georgia... I'm from Colorado and it's very interracial relationship friendly..... Georgia, not quite! Hell.... I even lived in Utah for 20 years and they are more accepting of it then here in Georgia!

2Legit2Britt
2Legit2Britt

I agree. When my husband and I were looking to leave the city, we said a big "hell no" to Long Island. The wrist kind of racist over there.

I agree with Yonkers and up. (Anything on the Hudson Line of Metro North.) Tons of IR couples in the River Towns ( Hastings, Dobbs Ferry, Irvington, Tarrytown) and some of the best schools. All of Westchester is great for IR couples. Then you just narrow it down by how much money you have and the culture you want. Hudson Line and Harlem line are VERY different.

Justme65
Justme65

@Maxine 

Ohhh, Canada!  Now there is a place I could think about living.

Justme65
Justme65

@Shasha7  Wow!  Boston?  I heard the Irish there are super racist.  Go figure.

Postracialist
Postracialist

@TiariContreras It may depend on where in Los Angeles: I live in LA (born and raised) and I can't seem to turn the corner without seeing an IR couple. I do live near downtown LA though, but even in areas that are heavily populated with a particular race I still come across swirlers, usually in their teens or 20s. 

TyTy_Nuggets
TyTy_Nuggets

@ToyaJaye i am the daughter of a BW and WM and my father is from sioux falls (about 5 hours east of rapid city). we've made several dozen family trips up to the black hills, and i can tell you from my past experiences (haven't been back to rapid in about 4 years) that you will most likely be one of very few interracial couples in a place at any given time, especially of the BW/WM variety. most people don't care, but you'll probably get a few glances here or there- especially from tourists. the state is just really slow moving but for the most part any discomfort you experience will be minimal; the vast majority of people there are totally harmless! have fun on your trip!! :)

Secinv
Secinv

Hi, I think your experiences may be somewhat accurate on Boston. I am in Boston too, born and raised in the area. It is liberal, but not accepting as one would think. Myself and my libertarian friends have discussed these liberals are so collective in their thinking. What happened in America to individualism? We must focus on treating everyone as an individual and not as everyone being part of some group.

Think Liberty....;)

Stephen

ElLagoJeff
ElLagoJeff

@AlexChrisCope I've lived in Houston my entire life and have seen very few IR couples.  I spend a lot of time in the Clear Lake area as well as in Midtown and the Galleria Area, and I hardly ever see IR couples of any combination, let alone BW/WM couples.

boldlipsglobal
boldlipsglobal

@FashionistaOfColor I agree with this statement 100%.  I'm originally from Chicago but lived in Boston for 10 years and, as a women of colour, noticed IR couples where the man was of colour and the woman was either vanilla or caramel.  Some vanilla gentleman were attracted to the chocolate sistahs but where often too shy to approach while others were just interested in the fascination of being with a chocolate sistah.  

euo95
euo95

@JenHellaRattyLum - I've always loved the idea of moving to Hawaii! Do you live there or have any personal experience? I hear that the "locals only" mentality still persists in some areas but maybe not in the bigger cities or military communities, right? Any experience in Honolulu vs. Big Island Hawaii? :]

Lady A
Lady A

@RodR I agree, I live in AL(though I want to move out pretty soon) but I live in Huntsville and it's IR city out here more than anywhere else imo.

Funmis3
Funmis3

@2Legit2Britt we also have an older senior populace that likes to swirl too. Loool. I saw a granny with her gray hairs sticking out from under her wig and her man with the shopping cart r7ght behind her. Lol

Maxine
Maxine

@Justme65 @Maxine I really enjoyed my visit to Vancouver.  That was a long time ago, but I've wondered about it ever since.

Maxine
Maxine

@Justme65 @Shasha7 Yes I've always heard the same, that it's the most openly racist and segregated city.

Gijou
Gijou

@Postracialist @TiariContreras I agree. I too, live in the LA area, swirling is pretty normal. I think a lot of Black women experience a lot of flirtation from men of other races also.       

Gijou
Gijou

What does any of this have to do with IR dating?

AlexChrisCope
AlexChrisCope

@ElLagoJeff @AlexChrisCope Maybe it varies by area in Houston. I live near the Sugar Land area, and there are LOTS of them! Almost everyone I know is biracial/multiracial because of the surplus of even older interracial couples in the area. 

JenHellaRattyLum
JenHellaRattyLum

There are some places more unfriendly than others.definitely closer the the larger populations. But the mixes are more Asian, Polynesian, white, black. My husband is Chinese/Japanese, which is amazing considering their history. I'm white. His family has Korean, Hawaiian, Mexican, Okinawan, white. Just come with the attitude that this is their home and you want to learn and must people are nice. I've been here 26 years already.

RodR
RodR

I'm moving to Colorado in 4 years so I am curious what it's like there

Justme65
Justme65

@Maxine @Justme65 

Yeah?  I may have to do some research as to whether it will be a good place to retire.  Kinda scary though!  I need first-hand info about a different country.

CraftyLady
CraftyLady

@Maxine @Justme65 @Shasha7 In my experience, it is openly racist and segregated.  I'm really not quite sure where people have been going in the city that they feel Boston is interracial friendly.  I wish my 3+ years here was unmarred by racism.  I've been to Ireland, and found people there to be lovely.  I was in Dublin and Galway.  By contrast, a white male friend and I were killing time after a wine tasting, and decided to walk a little bit into Southie.  The further in we got, the more staring we got.  We both became so uncomfortable as we neared a local bar, that rather than pass by the guy hanging out front who was glaring at me, we just turned right around and walked back to the area where the tasting had been.  (Clearly I don't mean every Irish person here is racist, but there are some very serious race relations issues between black, the Irish, and the Italians.)

I suppose some people have gotten lucky or they don't notice?  You can definitely find white men to date here, but it can be very awkward navigating the city as a couple and sometimes even on your own when you find yourself in the wrong neighborhood or on the T after a major sporting event.


I'm beginning to agree with one of the posters who said this list might not be usable.  I mean, I know a ton of people who think Boston has diversity issues, but there are a lot of women on here who find the opposite.  I'm not sure how useful this list will be if it's just people's lived experiences presented as evidence...

euo95
euo95

@JenHellaRattyLum - thanks for the insight! In your opinion, do you see BW/WM relationships at all in HI? Do you have any city recommendations for college-aged girl such as myself? From research I've done Oahu seems like a cool place to vacation but of course no one talks about the dating scene. Also, is the cost of living really as high as some people say? I hear about $4 gallons of milk and it makes me a little weary. Sorry for so many questions, really just hoping to get a perspective from someone who lives in HI ! ;]

Maxine
Maxine

@Justme65 I know Canadians hate to hear this, but it's as American as you can get without actually being in America.  

Shasha7
Shasha7

I haven't experienced any issues, but I actually don't live in Boston. I live in Worcester ,MA and it's very interracial here...and the times I've gone to Boston I've never had any issues, personally ...but when I say interracial I'm not referring to just black and white. I'm usually here with a Hispanic man and I've never had an issue...and I've gone to clubs and bars and they are usually very diverse. I've seen black women with white men and there was no issues....I've never been to Southie, so that could be a reason why...I'm guessing it depends on the area.