Thriving

Letter From a BB&W Reader: “I don’t want someone else to wake up and realize they made a mistake.”

I received this note from an anonymous, high-profile reporter who reads this blog. Ladies and gents, take a read, then take heed. She’s part of our family–she’s our very own ‘foreverhopeful.’

Dear Mrs. Karazin,

I am relatively new to your website and blog.  I think most of your readers are young women and men.  I wished there was a website like yours in my 20’s and 30’s perhaps I would have made different choices. So, if I could I wanted to share some life lessons I have learned in hopes that those seeking your counsel won’t do what I did and end up with a few regrets.

I am a single, 48 year old woman.  After a few rough relationships (not blaming everything on the men) I decided enough was enough.  I focused on my career and put love on the back burner. It was too hard.  I need to focus and take care of myself.   As you know, the problem with that decision is your job doesn’t hug you when you need one or snuggle with you just because; and at the end of the day you come home to an empty house unless you have a pet.  After a while, you get used to the loneliness.  The stillness of your world behind walls becomes so natural. Men would hit on me but sometimes it wasn’t the caliber man I was looking to spend my time.  I think one of my favorite lines is hey can I get your digits.  Really!

I had a pretty high profile career.  I could never really tell if the men I meet wanted to get to know me because of my position or if they really wanted to know me.  I always said reporting is what I do, it is not who I am.  I looked at a few online dating sites but never signed up because of what I did for a living. I didn’t feel free to be me.

Anyway, I was recently asked what I would tell the woman I was in my 20’s and 30’s.  I said Eat, Pray and Love.  Yes, that’s the title of the book by Elizabeth Gilbert and movie starring Julia Roberts.  Get out there and try different foods and drinks, meditate so you can see the forest for the trees and find someone to love who will love you back.  Don’t throw in the towel.  Be fearless, Find your voice, take a chance and live your life to the fullest.  It’s your life to life not anyone else’s.

I am rebuilding my life and it is not easy or pretty. But, I know now what’s most important and it’s not my job.  Those come and go.  Yes, it is up to you to make a difference while you are there but don’t throw away a chance at something real i.e. spouse and kids, if that is what you truly want.  Yes, it is really just now hitting me and hitting me hard.  That is my biggest regret. I can’t go back and reset time and start the clock again with the knowledge I now have but I can look to finding someone special.  I don’t want to depress anyone. That is not my intention.  My goal is to open eyes so they can see what they could miss out on if they don’t take a chance. I don’t want them to look in the mirror and have a face staring back wishing they had done things differently.  I realize not everyone gets the same opportunity in life nor has someone to pick them up off their feet and give them a life beyond their wildest dreams.

Surround yourself with love, laughter and truth.  Make every moment count.  Those are just some words I plan to live by from here on out.  On Livefrye, I am known as ‘foreverhopeful.’  My name is Phyllis Williams. If you were to ever meet me, you would think I am such a happy, optimistic and energetic person who sees the glass as half full.  That is true to an extent. I would feel more complete if I had only stopped to make sure I tried to make every moment more amazing than the next with someone special. I hope you share what I have shared with you.  I have only shared my truth with one other person.   I don’t want someone else to wake up and realize they made a mistake.

Much Love

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