You Want to Get with Me? Show Me Your College Degree!

You Want to Get with Me? Show Me Your College Degree!

I don’t graduate until May and, if you ask some people, I’m already thinking in a bourgeois fashion: I would hesitate to date a man without a college degree.

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Author : Jamila Akil

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I don’t graduate until May and, if you ask some people,  I’m already thinking in a bourgeois fashion: I would hesitate to date a man without a college degree. If I met a man without a college degree he would need to be self-employed, working in the family business, or have some extremely good explanation as to why he did not think it worth his time to finish at least an associate’s degree.

The way I see it, I’m almost 30 and I’m just finishing my BS. So if I meet a man my age who lacks a degree and isn’t even close to completing one, I would have to question what he has been doing for the last 10 to 12 years that made attending college not worth his time. Did he get a great job that he loved, with a company where he had room to grow, and thus a degree was made superfluous in this particular circumstances? Or, did he got an “OK” job, became satisfied, and somehow failed to realize that his position–without any additional training–may become obsolete in a few years?

Possessing a degree tells me that a man can think and plan for the long-term, that he has middle-class values and probably wants to pass those values on to his children. Wanting to date a man with a college degree has little to do with being stuck up, and everything to do with making sure that I share the same principles and ambitions as my future mate.  A house divided against itself cannot stand; and, two people in a relationship with different values and attitudes concerning education and the importance of upward mobility, not just in their own careers but in terms of what is expected of their children, will eventually reach an impasse in their relationship.  And I would much rather reach an impasse and have time to get out of a relationship while still in the dating stage, rather than to see the light after we’ve paid for an expensive wedding, had two kids, and are scraping cash together every month to pay for a mortgage underwater.

I’ll never say never to dating a man without at least an associates degree, but until I can discern why he doesn’t have that piece of paper–and it must be for a reason that I consider satisfactory if we are to continue dating each other–he will have a question mark over his head.

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EdEllington 48 pts

It may not be the degree as much as being your equal. I can tell you that graduating Summa Cum Laude with a 3.92 GPA did NOT make me smarter. What is did though, is help to develop patience, determination, and a strong will. The classes taken may enhance conversations and your world view but taken too far me make you seem...stuck up. So I say find your man who is educated because you may have more in common. But don't overlook a man who may only have a high school diploma that interests you. He may have more wisdom and maturity from the school of hard knocks than any education is able to add to the equation...

SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

Just a note on higher education - I have a Ph.D. in what was a rather obscure clinical/research/science field - I did publish in journals & I 'made it pay' - but then (in the 80s) the whole field collapsed - no $$ anywhere, with labs closing and university programs cutting back & changing to an anti-science, anti-technology stance.

So, taking the skills I had learned in independent thought and adaptability, I branched out into medical writing & paid information search - then I learned to program in microcomputer relational databases, eventually programming 9 of them, free-lance.

It wasn't all a bed of roses, as I had periods where a $dollar$ was hard to come by - but, the education enabled me to adapt and re-adapt to changing economic realities, until I retired.

Education teaches you to THINK and use what you learn to learn more - the dividends are often intangible and long-term (lifetime).

OK, 'nuff.

CarlaRose 86 pts

SirLoinDeBeef Not to challenge your opinion, but couldn't you...is it possible to learn to "THINK" independently? I'm an independent learner, constant reader and regularly listen to lectures online - I just don't have a particular focus or piece of paper to show for it. With my ADD brain, I've always had a world of a time in a traditional classroom setting and can focus better on my own though I know its not popular to feel that way.

My 14 years in the corporate world was definitely a learning experience for me too. It really forced me to grow up quickly since I started working full-time, wearing suits and all, when I was 19. Maybe that wasn't the best for me in hindsight.

I may be the rare exception, but I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Mark_H 233 pts

SirLoinDeBeef "Education teaches you to THINK and use what you learn to learn more - the dividends are often intangible and long-term (lifetime)."

This was perhaps true "back in the day", but the unfortunate truth is critical thinking and crucial communication skills are no longer taught in most schools. These are the two most highly sought after skills in any new hire, and what Fortune 100 recruiters consistently say is missing from entry-level applicants (including college graduates).

Babybear4104 12 pts

Jamila , I am graduating in April and I find myself thinking the same way. If I could find a way to complete my education and elevate myself, why shouldn't he? I think excuses are growing thin - I started off with a traditional ground campus, life got in the way, so I completed my education online. It took me 8 years, but I did it. He has to have the same type of drive as me for us to date, and if he has not tried... Forever trapped in the "Friend Zone".

edenifill 77 pts

You don't have to explain yourself. You are not asking for anything you don't already possess and so what if you were?

CarlaRose 86 pts

edenifill I think she was just sharing her opinion on the matter - nothing wrong with that.

SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

As a side issue to education, please let me mention the series of Great Courses available on DVD - we now have a DVD player set up in the exercise area - helps pass the time while staying healthy - For instance:

5,000 years of Chinese history - from Yao to Mao.

Algebra I & II - to review and re-learn what I did so badly in high school

Non-linear statistics

Calculus - Change & Motion

How to read cricically

Review of College-level Geology

Fundamentals of Music

Religion in the Ancient Mediterranean World

Descrete Mathematics

Chaos

History of the United States

Jules1 152 pts

SirLoinDeBeef Is a brain transplant included?

SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

Jules1SirLoinDeBeef Nope - sorry, that is strictly a do-it-yourself operation - now, just get out the steak knife ... "shouldn't yo be doin' this?" in a plaintive, TV-commercial voice ...

CarlaRose 86 pts

SirLoinDeBeef Is the name of it "Great Courses"?

Brenda55 4388 pts moderator

CarlaRoseSirLoinDeBeef

http://www.thegreatcourses.com/

MySmile 865 pts

HELP ME! lol I've been a lurker for months now and this is my first post. I'm having an internal (and external) conflict with myself and my Rainbeau (:-D) about employment and education lately. I'm back in college after taking a year and a half off. I am 22 and I will graduate in about 2 years. He is around the same age but graduated high school a year before me. We actually met at work while I was on break from school. He attended community college for a couple of years before we met but stopped going when his dad died (he found his dad dead in the driveway so it was pretty traumatic). He's sweet and attentive but I'm afraid his shyness and lack of self confidence is getting in the way of his success. He was teased a lot in high school. Now he only works part time in retail, usually getting about 20-25 hours a week with a little over minimum wage. He tries to get as many hours as he can but retail is retail. He says he will go back to school, finish his associate's degree, and transfer to a four year school (his mom and I keep telling him that without an education, his opportunities are limited). Honestly, I don't know how much I believe him. I've always been a skeptical, "I'll believe it when I see it" type of person. His ultimate goal is to be a best selling writer. I don't like to discourage him, as I'm a creative person myself but dreams don't keep the lights on (he has to have a back up plan)! I have to remind him to get his head out of the clouds. This is not only for my benefit, but for his as well. He also wants to be an English teacher but of course he needs schooling to get there. Teachers don't make much money, but at least he would have a salaried job where he could move up if he got more education. Sometimes I cringe at the thought of him being a teacher and him depending on my income to help make ends meet . I don't like all that pressure. I guess I do hold him to a higher standard than I hold myself but even I'm going to have at least a bachelor's degree. I'm also about to be working while in school and he's just working part time. I like a guy who I can look up to. I like someone who is doing more than I am, but at the very least just as much. It's also easy to get caught up in the working world and simply "forget" or not make time to go back to school. Currently, he is looking for a second job. He finds himself being frustrated when he gets turned down for these retail jobs and I remind him that he could aim higher and think beyond retail (but he will most likely need an education to do that) I know we are only 22 but sometimes it frustrates me to see and hear about other women being taken care of and spoiled (especially since I was not spoiled by my parents) when I don't really have that luxury. I don't really want to be a stay at home mom/wife/girlfriend lol, but I at least want to have that option. If we are ever together in the future, I don't want to feel so much pressure to have to make ends meet because he can't do it himself. When he does have money, he doesn't hesitate to take me out on dates (it's one of my requirements for a the guy to pay for dates.)..but we are pretty limited in the types of things he can afford to do. He doesn't hesitate to come over my apartment and cook for me, help straighten up my room, etc, so he's very caring and not selfish at all. I know that if he had the money, he would do everything humanly possible for me. Sometimes I find myself wanting to shake him and say "get your a** up and get a real job since you're not in school!" We have gotten into a few arguments about it. He says that he will prove me wrong (but promises he won't rub it in my face). He says he will get back in school as soon as possible. I just feel like he is settling for whatever he can get. "I'm just happy to have a job," he says...but I'm the type that's never satisfied with "just having a job." Even if I was, I'm in school right now so it isn't necessary or even possible for me to have that great of a job. I really don't want to stay with him and resent him in the long run but it would hurt both of us if we were to break up over something like education. I really don't want to sound snotty because I'm really not. It's just a turn on when a man has his life together. Sometimes I feel like I'm dating a loser. Sometimes I just look at him and it makes me upset. Maybe I'm exaggerating because of our age but I know plenty of guys with no college degrees who have better jobs. I have my own issues but I'm a go getter and have been offered promotions for my leadership skills (had to turn them down because of school). He has been offered a promotion but even that's only making $8 or $9 an hour (but at least it's full time) and they are dragging their feet on it. They aren't even going to start training him until like May. Who has time for that? I think they are just bs-ing him or waiting for someone "better". They already took back the promotion once before and hired somebody else for the job. That person called out too much so the offer was open again. I told him not to wait around for them and try to find a better job. I'm afraid that he isn't assertive or educated enough to make it in the work world. He can be kind of passive sometimes. I'm tired of trying to give him that extra push. I try to believe in him, but he's so slow and passive about doing things it makes me want to slap him! Sorry if this story was all over the place but I just had to get it out as soon as possible. What do you ladies think I should do? I really need some advice. It would be greatly appreciated!

CarlaRose 86 pts

MySmile You guys are both young and starting out in life. Are you thinking about marring him? Having kids? If not, I would just focus on what you want and let him figure his life out for himself. We expect people to have it ALL figured out in their early 20s but that's not realistic for some people.

If he wants to be a teacher, let him be a teacher as long as he knows or at least have a GOOD idea what he's getting himself into. Yes the salaries suck, but the more teachers (especially male) we have, the better. If you can't live with that, that's your choice, but its not up to you to change his mind about what he wants to do with his life.

MySmile 865 pts

CarlaRose Thanks for your reply. Extra thanks for reading that whole thing lol. I've never been one of those people who have everything all figured out. I don't even know exactly what I want to do with my life, but at least I'm on a path. That's what I think he should do, just get on some kind of path and go from there. I just feel like if someone sits around waiting until they know exactly what they want to they will be old before they have a stable life. That's how I find out what I like, by trial and error. I know everything doesn't work for everybody. If things continue to go well, I could see myself marrying him and having a life with him. He has mentioned it several times. I don't look down on him being a teacher. It's an admirable profession. I would just like for him to do the most he can so he can make the most out of being a teacher. That means he would probably have to have some type of job over the summer too. Maybe I'm just being too serious about this whole thing though. I'm not always this high strung so I don't know why this bothers me so much.

Brenda55 4388 pts moderator

MySmileCarlaRose

I think you already know in your own mind what you want to do. You just want someone to tell you your right.

You two have different goals and are moving in different directions. You have a future where he is not going to fit in.

You have out grown him. Time to leave him behind and keep it moving.

CarlaRose 86 pts

MySmile Forgive me if I sound condescending, but you two are still pretty young, there's no rush. Good for you for getting on a path right now, but he may just need time. Remember women mature faster than men (not in every case, but a lot of the time).

MySmile 865 pts

CarlaRoseNo it's fine, you don't sound condescending. I was hoping I didn't sound condescending towards my boyfriend or anyone else with my post. Yea, maybe I just need to chill about this whole thing.

MySmile 865 pts

Brenda55CarlaRose I wish it was that easy. I'm torn. He may just need more time. We haven't even been together that long (hasn't been a year yet) so I don't want to judge him too much. I really don't want to break up with him because we really do have a connection and I'm not sure what's going to happen in the near future. I'd be really hurt and I really don't want to hurt him. I hope I don't sound naive right now. I think I'll give it some time to see what he's going to do but of course I'm not going to wait around forever. He does make me happy in all the other areas though.

SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

MySmileBrenda55CarlaRose Don't look at what he is saying ... words are easy - look at what he is doing - let HIM vote with his feet/

MySmile 865 pts

SirLoinDeBeefBrenda55CarlaRose Exactly. I'll see what happens. He needs to show me some action.

SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

MySmile Please, in future posts, use paragraphs ... just as a personal favor to an old guy with bad eyesight.

MySmile 865 pts

SirLoinDeBeef haha sorry. I actually thought about using paragraphs but I didn't expect the story to be that long.

harleyq2 145 pts

MySmile

I agree with CarlaRose. You cannot force someone to become something or someone. He needs to find that motivation. However, because you are in a relationship with him, it would be a good idea to ask him what he truly wants and how does he see himself getting there. You also need to be honest with him about your concerns (nonjudgment

harleyq2 145 pts

or nagging). You only have control over your behaviors. Women are always mistaken to believe that they can control a man's action and he will be happy with it. Accept what he is showing you or leave it alone

MySmile 865 pts

harleyq2 Thanks for your response. Yea, I don't want to nag. I also don't want to change him. I just want him to use what he already has in him. I don't want him to just do things because of me but I want him to find his own way, for him :-). He isn't as happy as he could be because of his situation. I usually just get mad and fly off the handle about this subject but I'm going to sit down and talk to him tonight (without getting mad). I'm going to express my concerns.

ForestElfQueen 2112 pts

MySmile You're 22 and graduating in about 2 years, haven't been dating long...umm....

Give him a year & see what he *does*(actions) towards his goal(s). You're not his mom or guidance counselor so I'd just adopt a 'wait and see' attitude.

MySmile 865 pts

ForestElfQueen Thank you. Yea, sorry to tell everyone my whole life story. I took some time off from school and we've been dating about 7 months (we talked for about 2 months before we were together). Sometimes I just think about the way that situation affects me and I'm ashamed of myself. I really hate to be a control freak but sometimes he just drives me nuts. (I'm only a little crazy I promise)

ForestElfQueen 2112 pts

MySmile That's not that long(7mos) for your age. ... lolz...What will drive you totally crazy is worrying about what other ppl have(or appear to have) and what they'll think of your choices ..the Joneses etc.

Ultimately you have to decide what kind of life *you* want. Go with your gut feeling.

MySmile 865 pts

ForestElfQueen I know...I don't really keep up with the Joneses but Envy/jealousy has been paying me lots of visits lately :-/ . lol you're right though...if you constantly compare your life to other people it can drive you crazy. I am happy with my boyfriend in all other areas. We haven't been together for that long but we have a crazy connection that I've never felt before (sorry if it's cliche haha). Even with our issues, it is such a treat to be with a man who loves me, cherishes me, and never disrespects me....especially after being in an abusive relationship a few years ago. I'm finally getting what I deserve.

Jamila 2824 pts

I didn't read the whole thing but I read enough.

Be supportive of him with his dreams,but don't put any of your dreams on hold to help him achieve his. This man is not your husband...yet. At the end of the day he has to find him own motivation and make his own plan. Your position is to encourage him and cheer lead for him when he succeeds an be encouraging of him when he falls down and is struggling to get back up. Don't nag him. Listen when he wants to talk but don't force him to move at the pace you think he should be moving at; he has to move at his own pace. Watching you go to school and achieve your goals might be all the motivation he really needs.

He's young so his thoughts are a bit muddled, but that's OK because he has time to make up his mind and decide what he wants to do with his life.

You just can't allow yourself to get sidetracked or too emotionally involved by someone else's situation, not matter how much that person may have been through. You have to take care of yourself first.

MySmile 865 pts

Jamila Thank you for your help and support. That is exactly what I'm going to try to do. We really need to talk it out and I'm going to try to listen more and be supportive because I've been nagging him too much lately. His sister also said what you said about seeing me go to school will motivate him. I think it actually has a little bit (just not enough yet). That last part is exactly my problem. Sometimes I can get too emotionally involved in someone else's situation and that sucks for my psychological well being. I'm into the sociology (which many people think is a fluff major but it's what I love!) so that may be a hint as to why I'm like that. I'm going to be the messed up one trying to solve the rest of the world's problems lol...hopefully not. We are going to have a conversation and I'm not going to use my angry card tonight ((fingers crossed)). I'm going to tell him how this makes me feel. I know he wants to change it because it hurts him if I'm not happy...but I want him to change his situation for himself also. We'll see what happens.

Jamila 2824 pts

MySmile" I'm not going to use my angry card tonight ((fingers crossed))."

Don't use it!!

You'd be surprised at the fact that men will often drag their feet about doing something that they KNOW they should do, but they just don't want to be let you think that you made the do it. They want it to be their decision.

Jules1 152 pts

My views may in the minority here but I see no difference in someone with an undergrad degree and another with a certified skilled trade. They are both educated in different ways. I know many ppl see their degree as something huge and it is for the most part. It takes dedication, persistence and drive to complete 3-4 years of study. It takes the same dedication, persistence and drive to complete an apprenticeship and work your butt off to get into a trade union (which is not an easy feat).

Obviously, for some there is no negotiating when it comes to not having a college degree, that is completely fine. Each person must do for themself what feels right. However, for women out there who are looking simply for a good provider and compatibility I would not cut out those men with skilled trades. They are very much a viable dating option, and in some cases even more of viable option considering the present economy conditions. An old high school friend of mine has a degree, but she ended up marrying a chef who does the global resort work thingy. She has travelled the world over and lives a very cushy life. Apparently these resorts fund housing and provide for so many of the Chef and their family's needs that they save so much money, and have a few homes in different place. She is married interracially bw/wm. Another friend of mine is also married to a Chef interacially bw/wm, and he doesn't even work in a restaurant anymore, now he teaches at the culinary school . My cousin who completed med school a little over a year ago graduated debt free, his schooling was funded by his father who is a master electrician. Very few doctors from working class homes are able to complete med school debt free. I was only last night talking to an older cousin 70+ and he told me he had termites and had to get a pest control guy to fix the problem, I almost fell over when he told me they charged him close to $1000 to do the job, I don't even think it took 2 days to complete. I had to ask him if he didn't think he was overcharged, but what could he do, he had to use them. The bottom line is a Univ degree is not the be all and end all of having a quality life, and finding a quality partner.

The Working Home Keeper 1495 pts

Jules1 Wow, congrats to your cousin (and his father for helping) graduate med school debt free! My husband and I both graduated college free of student loan debt. It really helped us get a good start as a young couple not having to worry about debt.

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VintageNarcissa 925 pts

Pearl LoL! Age old question dear. It's just the basic idea of again, standard, gender roles - that have not evolved well as society "progresses." Once upon a time women were property, they did not work and were solely dependent on either their fathers, brothers or husbands. Men had a clear and distinctive role so it was easy to follow through. Today, women can take care of themselves if they so choose. But a man's basic need to be a provider is still there. And that is where the whole idea of whoever makes to most money being the breadwinner of the family comes from. Even if a woman makes $90k a year, if her husband makes $100k, the man would be considered the breadwinner because he makes more money. But if it were the other way around, for many men, even if they were making $90k, they would probably prefer to be a bum on the street if their wife made more money than them. Women are extremely complex in that we can be the nurturers, providers, both or neither and be happy with whatever role we are in. But men were built to be providers, protectors, they are not built for much else. Today's society is ironically is not that compatible with men, even though it's men that built it. Men's eligibility as being able to use their strength when women cannot or use their intelligence when women cannot is virtually obsolete, so their only alternative is to have more than women, to secure their persona as a man.

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VintageNarcissa 925 pts

Pearl Very true. That's goes into the whole "let men by men" roster. But a man is not really going to care about opening jars for you if he is unable to fulfill his other manly duties to you, whatever they are in his eyes. Some men understand that sometimes its unavoidable that the woman will make more and they are progressive enough to adjust to that. Let's say for example there's a couple and they have a more moderate salary. Let's say the man makes $55k and the woman makes $65k. Together, that's 120k, that's pretty decent for a household income, right? But in order for the man to keep his place as feeling like a man, he may allot more of his salary toward providing for his home, his wife, and whatever kids they may have, while most of his wife's income goes into the "extra" category. His salary is what pays for the mortgage and other house bills, the car(s), the clothes, the groceries. Her salary is what makes up most of their savings. Her salary is what pays for vacations and rainy day expenses, the children's ballet and piano lessons, something is wrong with the kitchen sink and a plumber must be called, things of that nature. Now that man very well knows his wife makes more than him, but he also knows that it's his money putting a roof over their head, food in their stomaches and a clothes on their backs. With his basic need to provide the basic needs for his family, the non petty man will then be able to see his wife's income as an asset to the whole family and not a detriment to his manhood. And then he will be more than happy to open whatever jars need opening. lol

Brenda55 4388 pts moderator

VintageNarcissaPearl

Good points. My parents worked it like that most of their marriage. they made about the same amount of income. Dad's money took care of the essentials, mom's went to savings and luxuries. They worked as a team and we lived good.

Hubby and I worked it that way up until the time I became a stay at home wife. Its called being on the same page financially.

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Jamila 2824 pts

Pearl I think that when a woman makes more money than the man it tends to change the dynamics in the relationship--the two people really have to take time out and discuss their feelings about money and who is going to pay for what, or else there are bound to be misunderstandings. I've also read studies that state women are more controlling the relationship when they are the top bread earner.

Mark_H 233 pts

JamilaPearl I don't think it's so much controlling as self confidence. Women of means tend to be better educated, have more self confidence, and a propensity to share their opinion. This might come across as controlling to guys who are used to quiet, demure women who let the man take the lead and never offer n opinion or dissenting viewpoint.

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SirLoinDeBeef 572 pts

Pearl Pearl, from my vantage of 50 years as an adult, there's nothing wrong with a guy making less $$ than his woman - BUT, at least within the 'princess/goddess'-infested WW/WM marriages, the moment she out-earns him, she 'grows a pair' ... and then she, plus her friends, demand that he cuts his off - the power balance within marriage (end-runs, crying, making points,etc.) operates on an immediate basis, shifting in her favor ... and he never, ever get his b*lls back ... it's always there, thrown at his face, month after month, unto eternity ... even to the extent of being evicted from the marriage bed and sent to the attic or basement.

OTOH, at least for me, my BW lady-wyfe 'carried me' for a year until I had other income ... but this seems to be one of the main differences between the WW & BW outlook on marriage & family.

Just sayin'

CarlaRose 86 pts

SirLoinDeBeefPearl "...but this seems to be one of the main differences between the WW & BW outlook on marriage & family."

Reading some of the posts here, doubt that sometimes.

VintageNarcissa 925 pts

SirLoinDeBeefPearl That is definitely one thing I feel everyone needs to take into consideration, no matter gender or race. We like to think life is short, but when you're in the middle of is, it definitely is not. Especially if you're married, and (I hate to make it sound like this) but you're facing the prospect of having to look at the same face for the rest of your life. It's all well and good if and/or when the man makes more. But just because that man is on top when you say "I do" does not mean he's going to be there forever. I'm sure it's been discussed at BBW, how in this economy, men are more likely to be laid off and find it harder to find a new job. You get married in your 20's and all of a sudden you're in your 40's, you're not a spring chicken any more and your company finds you easily expendable. Or just like you said with these fairy-tale WW/WM marriages - I can't tell you how many stories I hear about well off white men going to jail for tax evasion because he was trying to keep his wife in Prada. And wifey has no useful skills save from the modeling or Dallas Cowboy's cheerleaders career she had to retire from 10 years ago. What happens next, 50% divorce rate in the U.S. Not that black women don't get divorced, but feel like more progressive black women, like the one's here at BBW, have a better understanding of the ups and downs of life because of our general status in society. Of course we all want good lives, would prefer to be taken care of, etc. But I think, or at least hope, that expect the best but be prepared for the worst and handle whatever situation with tact and dignity.

Brenda55 4388 pts moderator

VintageNarcissaSirLoinDeBeefPearl

Again Vintage good points.

As SirLoin mentioned above he was out of work for a year and I supported the household.

With out getting into too much detail he had a disability that prevented him from doing his job. His employer refuse to allow him to use a piece of adaptive equipment that would have kept him working. He was 61 at the time and was forced into early retirement.

One is able to collect SS at age 62 however and when we applied for SS disability since he was only 61we were turned down. The appeal would have taken a yeas. SS knows that hence the denial so we sat down and made a plan. I would work, he would be the "house Husband".

He took over the cooking and cleaning and drove me back and forth to work. I picked up extra agency work in addition to my full time job.

We actually came out of that year in better financial shape than when we started since we only had the expenses of one person out in the work force meaning less gasoline use because of using one car, not paying for lunch out for two people. Less meals out since someone was home cooking full time.

We were able to make this adjustment because we both had marketable skills and we worked together when life took an unexpected turn.

VintageNarcissa 925 pts

Of course there are exceptions to college education. Of course people can be successful without a degree or unsuccessful with one. But I feel for women looking to be married and to be well off, seeking a man with a college education (especially if she has one herself) is just the general rule. Everyone wants to point out, well what about this successful person who dropped out of college or this successful person who is self taught. But those people are just a few out of many. The truth is, the majority of us, especially in such a capitalistic society, will have to have some kind of formal education in order to get where we want to go. Men and women alike. It's a basic standard. So that if someone comes along and with no education, goals or aspirations, then you know to show them the door. Or not even open the door in the first place. Otherwise there are two things that women have to consider. What are the odds that an exception will come your way? and, Are you willing to accept that exception if it comes a long. Just because said exceptions are more or less unspoken in the whole college education requirement debate does't not make then invalid. I'm sure if any of us met one of these self made millionaires who caught themselves latin while making fries at Hotdog on a Stick, and he was sensitive, family oriented and perfect for us we would not hesitate to lock him down. But how many of us are actually going to find that person? So you have you standards and you stick with them as long as they are plausible.

CarlaRose 86 pts

Also, having a college degree has NOTHING to do with a mortgage being under water or not. There are so many people with Masters degree who are unemployed, struggling and are drowning in debt (including student loan debt).

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Rosie S 796 pts

Pearl

I agree, a degree is a great requirement for dating.

However, I'll make and exception and date someone without a degree if they were GAINFULLY, SUCCESSFULLY, & LAWFULLY self-employed. Self-education is a must though.

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Rosie S 796 pts

Pearl I could never stop reading or learning. It's almost like an obsession, $7+ library fees and counting...

ForestElfQueen 2112 pts

PearlRosie S At times I do feel some 'buy locally' guilt but Amazon Marketplace is one of the loves of my life. lolz. AbeBooks and Alibris too.<3