Black Women's Empowerment

A Rare Look At Why Some Black Men Diss Black Women In Social Media

You might want to take a look at an article that came up on my time line titled, Confessions Of a Former Self Hating Black Man who Used to Bash Black women on Social Media. Much of what is included is what many of us already suspected, but it’s interesting to see it posted so nakedly honest.

The author talks about his obsession with white girls, and his dream to have a pretty white wife with kids with good hair.

The trend of liking white girls that began in elementary school continued throughout my school years. As I entered middle school and then high school it was impossible to escape the appeal of having a white or non-black girlfriend. Among my black friends, you were seen as almighty and powerful if you could get a white girl and if you found out that one liked you or had any interest in you; you were seen as a god.

The mindset of my friends and I at the time could be summed up as something along the lines of “if she ain’t white, she’s at least gotta be light”. Black women were barley on our radar and we treated them as such. At the time, I would sit back, laugh, and even join in as my friends would make fun of the black girls in our classes for things like their, hair, skin tone, or the way they talked. For me and my friends, white girls came first followed by Latina, Asians, and mixed girls, in no particular order. While me and some of my friends did date and like some black girls we still greatly respected guys who were able to get with women on different races.

This rings true with what much of the data reflects and personal accounts reflect, and we covered this way back when Ebony did that feature, Guess Who’s Going to the Prom, which highlights interracial dating with high schoolers. This quote especially stood out:

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My interest in women of other races may have started as something I developed because “it was cool” but it soon turned into something else. By wanting mixed children with “good hair” I was in a way putting down my own black features. I had thick nappy hair and dark skin. My features where in direct contrast to the features I wanted my future children to have which looking back on it now I see as a big problem. I never thought that I had problems with my skin tone or hair texture but my thought process confirmed that I did in fact have some issues which I have since overcome.

Apparently, after this man spent most of his life crapping on black women, he *finally* saw the light, around the time of the Mike Brown shooting, when he looked around and saw that all the women fighting and marching for HIM were black. No “Beckys” in sight.

I hope there’s a lesson you’re learning here, and I hope it’s not the assumption that if you fight on the front lines for men like this, you’ll find your IBM. No man is worth that. Black girls and women are being boycotted, and one random confession won’t likely turn the tide.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.