Guests of the Inner Sanctum

A White Girl Asks, “Beautiful Black Women, What Is the Big Deal?”

Okay. New blog rule: we will not jump down the throats of well-meaning white girls, okay? The author asks a good question, and it’s not necessarily for us, but in Google-world, this might actually help somebody. Plus, I like soap operas; and she writes one. ¡Viva la telenovela!

A White Girl Asks, “Beautiful Black Women, What Is The Big Deal?”

By Chris Walton. Check out her fiction blog Leighton Heights.

What am I honestly missing when it comes to black women and interracial relationships? And why, you may wonder, am I asking at all? I’m a white female, so my curiosity might seem misplaced. Please allow me to explain, and forgive me after if I’m out of line.

I have a best friend that I’ve known since the proverbial third grade; I’ll call her Eve. We’re both single and heading for 30, with her living in our hometown Seattle and me having relocated to Canada for my career. We talk a lot and lately it’s been about relationships, and how she’s worried she’s going to spend the rest of her life alone because she swears that 30 is over the hill. (That puts me in a great position being a few months older than her, LOL!) Eve is the total package from my point of view: she’s a pharmacist, just bought her own home, she’s funny and
give-you-the-shirt-off-her-back-when-you’re-in-need type of sweet.

Did I forget to mention that she’s beautiful? A shapely body I would die for, skin the color of chocolate, pretty dark eyes, and awesome hair like that new musician Esperanza Spalding (no homo, LOL). But she doesn’t date often, and whenever she does mention a new man in her life, he’s gone after a month or so. Thinking back, she never really dated in high school or college, either.

Now, I remember a few years back I got into a relationship with a black man. Eve once made a funny comment that I snagged “the last living good man in America”, and that got me thinking. Sure, the guy was nice and treated me well and had a career, but so did plenty of other men I personally knew – and a few of them had actually asked me about getting to know Eve. I had only ever seen Eve date black men, and I asked her about it. Her answer was that she could never date outside her race. I was like, “this is 2008! (at the time) Are you serious?” She started to get upset, and we never spoke about it again. But I kept thinking, wondering, and finally a Google search titled “are black women afraid to date” led me to Beyond Black & White
where I’ve been lurking since.

I just don’t see what the issue is. If you can have white and Asian and Hispanic and whatever else race of friends, why can’t you have a white/Asian/Hispanic/other boyfriend or even husband? I don’t think this is new thinking. I notice many more interracial relationships with black men, but black women are doing it, too, and the world knows it. Relationships between men and women are n-o-r-m-a-l, and that’s all that white/black/Hispanic/Asian/other men are – men. Or am I wrong?

I love my best friend to death, and I also love to write fiction in my spare time. Eve was actually the inspiration for one of the main characters introduced on my new blog. I just think that a great woman like her deserves to be happy and have her wedding dreams fulfilled like any other woman. I wish Eve would take advantage of all the interested potential out there and maybe look beyond a man’s skin color.

Heck, I would ask her out if I were a man, but she says I’m just a friend! 🙂

Dan da daaaaaaa! Will Chris, the soap-opera writer, get fruitful answers to her question without being called a silly white chick? Will Eve finally wake up and smell the Steve? Will Chris, the editor-in-chief of Beyond Black & White, recover from the discovery that non-black females religiously read her blog??

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.