Deviant dude that I am I’m gonna deviate from Ask A White Guy and delve into Tell A White Guy.
I’m mainly talking to the men who choose to read rather than post here. I’m talkin to you guys today, cuz I know you’re there taking this all in. So here’s a little something especially for you guys that will hopefully give you some motivation, points to ponder and a chance to reaffirm your devotion to The Gospel Of Swirlin.
Ladies, you are more than welcome to stick around cuz I know y’all wanna tell them white guys a thing or 3 yourselves…heh heh.
Hey, have you guys checked your calendars lately? The best time of the year to get your Swirl on is right around the corner! The Swirling Hour is nigh upon us so lets have a team meeting and get a game plan together and take full advantage of this blessed time of the year.
Now see, I’m talking Halloween and all the party fun that comes along with it, but in order to be ready for that, lets just review a few basics and make sure we’re Swirl Ready first, comprende amigo?
Now lets not beat around the bush here. This Swirling thing can indeed be a tricky trail to tread upon. It doesn’t have to be but if it wasn’t to a certain extent this site wouldn’t be here in the first place, now would it?
And again, all bush beating aside, I can’t say I’ve ever heard anyone ever say..
“I’d really like to date White Girls but I’m not sure how I should do this.”
“I’ve always been attracted to Asian Ladies but I need advice on how to approach them.”
“I’ve decided to try dating Latina Ladies but I don’t know of they would date me.”
See a trend here? Heh heh…I don’t recall ever hearing that. EVER. But that’s just business as usual when it comes to The Swirl curious amongst us, isn’t it? We see it all the time around here. So, having made the previous statements I do indeed maintain the position that Swirling is a special path to be chosen. It’s how we decide to proceed upon that path that tends to complicate things a little for us white guys. So today I feel it’s appropriate to address a few issues and then launch ourselves Vanilla Viking style straight into Swirling Valhalla. Or something like that. Here’s a few basics to review and make sure we gentlemen are indeed Swirl Ready for the Halloween festivities soon to be upon us…
A: You bring The Swirl to you, you don’t go to it.
I believe a lot of men get this part backwards wondering how they can fit into the Swirlin Scene rather than how they have the ability to make the Swirlin Scene work for them. I believe this concept should be flipped around and by this I mean making sure as a man you have the basics of being an attractive man covered. Period. To all women, not just Black Women. Get your business together and work on your appeal as a man first. Then after that you bring the Ladies you want into your life. And Swirlin Men that we are, well, we’re gonna have The Swirl coming to us rather than us chasing after it.
Now there is an endless and infinite amount of invaluable information out there at your disposal on this topic. Countless articles, websites, books, podcasts, experts…everything is all right there for us and we men really have no excuse to claim ignorance as to the nuances of male self improvement, but the key here is finding and using what specifically applies to you, your goals, the person you are and the person you want to be. No one can definitively tell you what, how and why but you. That’s the cool part of all this. On our Journey down The Road Of Life, only you can make your own choices and decisions on what’s best for you.
Having said that, my personal beliefs are plastered right freakin here. Its what makes me tick. Have a look at what I’m referring to. Take them for what you will. Read them. Laugh at them. Steal from them. Whatever works for you. These mean a lot to me because they are the direct result of my personal experiences, observations and self reflection on my Journey down The Road Of Life. These guidelines have served me well and I recommend you find yours and roll your own way with them.
1: First and foremost above all else: dress, speak and conduct yourself as a Gentleman. When in doubt, what would George Clooney do?
2: You don’t have to be the “best looking man” in the room. Your hygiene, grooming, wardrobe, attitude and personal fitness will make you the “most appealing man” in the room.
3: Be a Man. Be a Man with a Plan. Be a Man of Action. Be a Man of His Word. Be a Man of Chivalry. Be a Man others look to when it’s time to get things done. And be The Man who will step up and dance with a Lady.
4: Always be positive, upbeat and offer compliments when they are due. Radiate a genuine, positive and confident aura. No whining or complaining.
5: NO CHASING AFTER YOUNG CHICKS HALF YOUR AGE. Make them chase you.
6: Never talk about the ex.
7: Never use profanity around a Lady. Always wait and let her use the naughty words first.
8: Never be the first one to bring up the topic of sex. Let her bring it up first. If you do things right, she will bring it up when she’s comfortable with it. Once she does, act like you’ve been there before.
9: Smile. Smile and relax. Smile and relax and have fun. Smile and relax and have fun and then flirt like there is no tomorrow. People will remember you in a good way if there actually is a tomorrow.
10: Be a fun, interesting, engaging and entertaining guy to be around. Because if you don’t, someone else will.
11: Have a few fun, unique and unusual hobbies that set you apart from the rest of the crowd.
12: Remember these 2 quotes…
“If I try to be a better dude today than the dude I was yesterday, then I’ll be an even more excellent dude tomorrow.”
“I have everything to gain by being positive and everything to lose by being negative.”
13: SEE RULE #1
So gentlemen, find yourself, find your code, your mantra, your core beliefs and values…whatever you wanna call it. Find that man and be that man.
Live your life in a manner that is conducive to opportunities appearing and The Swirling, among a great many other things, just magically seem to find a way to present itself to you. That’s what I’m saying when you bring what you want to you, you don’t go crawling after it. True story.
B: Act like you’ve been there before.
It ain’t no big deal and ya do it all the time.
Imagine, if you will, the following scenario…
Your eyes meet with the Swirlin Sweetie across the room, you both smile, you walk up to her with your hands in your pockets, shoulders shlumped all lookin at your feet saying,
“So, uhhh… do you date white guys?”
Oh the thud that is the mood falling flat upon the floor! Gentlemen, it’s simply not working the odds in your favor to approach her with a hesitant, insecure and a less than assertive aura about your skin color. Act like ya been there before and Swirlin ain’t no big deal. Even if ya haven’t, no one needs to know that, especially her. Feel free to bluff this one poker style, there’s gotta be a first time for everything but we can keep that to ourselves.
So act like ya been there before and Swirlin is the most natural thing in the world and ain’t no big deal. If there’s a problem or question, it’s someone else’s cuz it sure ain’t yours. You know who you are and what you’re doing. You’re a Swirlin kinda guy and you don’t need to be all worrying if she’s gonna be down with that or not. Only one way to find out, so let her decide if she’s gonna go with it or not.
C: Wow her with your whiteness.
Gentlemen, we are white guys so let’s just leave the Vanilla Ice and Eminem thing to someone else. Don’t try to crossover or meet her on her supposed terms, MC Wangster. There seems to be a misconception that ya gotta be all “down” with things, ya know? No need for that. Remember, you’re bringing The Swirl to you, and her, not vice versa so bring her along to experience the awesomeness of this Swirlin Adventure along with you. Think of yourself as the Terminator ST 5000 in your badass shades and leather jacket reaching out to her whilst saying,
“Come with me if you want to Swirl.”
How can she say no to that?
So, lets be mindful of those 3 things and make sure we are indeed Swirl ready. The best Swirlin time of the year is fast approaching and we will soon have far more important things to be concerned with. Gentlemen, it’s been an honor. For those about to Swirl, we salute you.