BB&W Exclusive

My Afternoon with Matthew Hussey: “Self-Worth is your choice.”

Coincidentally on this venture today I invited an old friend who I had been avoiding for some time because of her personality.  I couldn’t figure out why she was so irritating to me but I thought I had been avoiding her for too long.  I missed her, so I thought let’s make it a girl’s day.  This was about her favorite subject anyways: boys!  She is boy crazy to the point of obsession. That was one of the reasons I avoided her! They were all we talked about and that obviously became boring fast. Nevertheless the day arrived and I’ve been excited since the tour announcement. Nothing was going to take my day from me, so I thought the more the merrier.  Like many of you, I’m a huge fan of Christelyn and Matt’s videos together, so I knew that this event was going to be beyond phenomenal.  I arrived later than I expected but got a decent seat next to a great group of ladies.


Let me tell you it was CRAZY!  There were not enough seats for everyone.  Some women were standing against the walls for hours!  At the beginning, they were bringing out chairs for latecomers and placing them in the front!  The ladies were not having it and did not hesitate to let Mr. Hussey know.  Needless to say Matt & Co. gave in to the demands:  allowing those already seated to scoot up closer to the front and those who were late to take their seats in the back.  Talk about setting standards early on!

Now, I don’t want to give all the goods away, but here are 7 things that were stated I feel we, as women should live by:


1)   People are always showing you who they are in the 1st week.  Don’t ignore their shit!  Watch what they do and not what they say.  In other words, vet EVERYONE ladies.  You are the company you keep.


2)   Its not enough to know who you are.  You have to know your worth and know how to sell it.  Confidence is not competence.


3)   Don’t do anything for your love life that doesn’t benefit your whole life.  Otherwise you will resent it.


4)   Attraction is keeping someone off balance.


5)   Invest in him based on what he does in relationship to you, not because how much you like him.


6)   If you don’t have your emotions and self-worth in check you can have all the tools, but still fail.


7)   There is nothing hotter than a happy woman!

Ladies, I was a very happy woman all day.  Unfortunately my friend was not and was being negative and a downer.  Fortunately for me, I was having too much fun to give a care.  I guess she couldn’t take it anymore.  She left half an hour early and missed the biggest point of the whole event:  CONFIDENCE.  I’m also taking one of Matt’s online seminars and so most of what he talked about today I had already been introduced to but the way he talked confidence had me mesmerized.  I come from a background, like many black women, where we are taught from an early age that we are not worthy of anything:  love, affirmation, and edifying relationships.  That we are not worthy to invest in.  One thing that Matt said that hit home for me is that WE are the most important asset we will ever have. WE are the business, the men in our lives are just revenue.  Preach, my brother!  (Oh btw, did I mention that that gorgeousness runs in the family.  Yep, the other Hussey brother is HOT.  Thought I would just point that out.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a picture of him.  Instead you can enjoy these of the 1st Hussey and me)


Excuse my temporary distraction, back to the last statement:  WE ARE THE BUSINESS, THE MEN IN OUR LIVES ARE JUST REVENUE. The business will always be there, but revenue can go away, but if you work on the business, revenue can always come back.  When he said that I was blown away.  What I took from that was forget the bullshit and what people think and invest in who you are (not material things that can go away), your well being confidence, values, and self-worth to be the best version of yourself.  No one else can give you worth but you and that is so important to understand. I don’t think we are told that enough.  We need to tell ourselves that everyday that self-worth is our choice.  No one can give us our value that is determined by our choices and ladies for me that means learning more about myself and dedicating time to nurture myself.  I’m a New Yorker, we are always going and going.  I find myself at work, home, church, everywhere doing my best to make others happy.  Woman syndrome they should call it.  We are caretakers at heart but what we often fail to do is take care of is ourselves.  I’m really freaking tired of trying to make everyone else happy but myself.  Compromise is earned in relationships and I’m tired of living in fear of hurting someone else’s feelings and lose them to end up compromising my own feelings.  Tough shit.  I may not be the most important person in the world but I’m effing important and that means something, dammit.


We have to set our standards and live by them and even if I am shaking in my boots, people are going to start to recognize and that is going to start with the company I keep.  This event helped me to realize why my friend irritated me for so long.  She has no sense of self worth.  She is always negative about everything and blamed others instead of herself for why things go wrong.  Who wants to be around that all the time?  I spent so much of our friendship affirming her and trying to give her some sense of her value (that is my spiritual gift:  affirming words) but it was absolutely draining emotionally.  That hurts but it’s the truth.  Just because she won’t take the time to realize her value doesn’t mean that’s my duty.  And when its time to let ppl go its time!  Now I know her background because it similar to mine, but there comes a point in life where you can’t let that hold you back and I’ve been way past that point in my life where my faith (spiritual values) and my faith in myself will no longer allow me too.  I’ve grown so much as a person and because of that I’ve met so many others who continue to help me grow and learn about myself.  Unfortunately she is not part of that group and this is a friendship I’m ready to let go of.  As Matt says you need a peer group that supports you.  We all need a positive group of people who have similar dating goals as we do and support us in these endeavors.  Not people who are pessimists and negative all the time.  Again, you are the company you keep.


Ladies, I cannot tell you how much fun I had and if you are still able to attend an even I highly suggest it.  I HAD SO MUCH FUN and met some beautiful and amazing women along the way.  (Staring at a beautiful Englishman for 4 hrs didn’t hurt either.)  One thing:  I’m a little weary of buying the book as most of the information in it I am also learning from his online seminars as well as from the live event.  Nevertheless I encourage you all if you cannot participate in either, to buy the book not only to learn some amazing and transformative information, but also to help our guy get to the New York Times Bestseller List.  Hey, if I don’t buy it for me, I’ll eventually buy it for a very special friend, but only them because I really don’t want anyone else to share this information.  As one journalist, “I can do without the competition.”


Matt was right, everyday should be like this, dancing like who the fuck cares.



Yep I came home with an English accent and a bit more confidence.  Here are a few more photos from the event for your enjoyment.  Sorry for the blurriness.






If you can’t get a chance to get to one of Matthew’s live events, you can order an online version here.

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