Before I get to the news, there’s an thought I’d like to offer. Many male black-woman haters who profit on the degradation of us to the world often mock that black women are so “desperate” for outside validation–in particular from white men. Well here’s a thought: Maybe said women are “desperate” for validation because men who profit from our dehumanization invalidate us. They invalidate us, and then mock us for seeking acceptance elsewhere.
With that, I present to you an article that was presented to me, “8 Ways That Hard Working Black Women Are Better Dating Material Than White Women,” written about a year ago by Mark Wells. He reported on his experiences dating black women, and was communicating to a majority white, male audience. Here’s a few of the highlights:
1. They’re More Grounded
Dreams are great and everyone should have them but Black women understand that there are dreams and there’s the day-to-day in which things actually have to get done. While there’s floundering dreamers in every group, everywhere, my experience is that Black women aren’t going to change their “ultimate dream goal” every day and waste a bunch of time chasing their tails. They’re more goal oriented and class conscious which leads into my next one.
2. Black Women Work Harder
Because they have to. They don’t expect anything to be given to them in the workplace and they’re willing to show up every day and give great effort to get ahead. There’s no expectation on their part that Daddy will help them out with a job that will magically appear (because her Daddy taught her to work for herself) and with all her parents did to make sure she was provided for and educated there’s no way she’s going to disappoint them by being lazy when the chips are down. They know things out there are hard and that sometimes their skin will work against them. She knows this is a generational battle and she intends to win.
3. They’re More Appreciative Of Kindness
Every Black woman I’ve dated has been a Class A, no B.S., queen. If you care about them then you show it and express it. You let them know. In return, they’ll let you know that it’s appreciated. They’re not afraid to do the simple things like cook you a real meal and dote on you if you’re good to them because, to them, it’s not a competition.
Almost every White woman I’ve dated has been so insecure about themselves that they often hold back affection thinking that somehow they’re protecting themselves and their feel feels as if that doesn’t ultimately hurt me (or any guy who cares about them) and destroy the relationship slowly. Black women are about keeping things moving, not playing “who cares more” games.
4. Black Feminism Is Superior To White Feminism
I’ve never met a straight Black woman under the age of 50 that would make you feel like she either feared or hated men. You meet oodles of White women who appear to do both. Black feminism is about reproductive rights, being treated justly, and getting paid the same. It’s not about gender confusion as a hobby or bougie self indulgence. It’s a feminism that celebrates healthy masculinity instead of fearing it and that wants a true partnership from a strong man, not a weak partner that they can roll over.
And finally, Black women let their man be human and they don’t expect them to represent all men. To them, you’re a person, not a representative of power just waiting to show your true, evil, self.
5. Black Women Care About Family
Does she want to marry the man she loves? Yes. Does she want kids? Probably. While I can’t speak for every Black woman in the world (obviously), none of the Black women I’ve known, and I’ve known a lot, have a bunch of internal confusion about what they want from their man. They don’t agonize about whether or not getting married would be repressive or about “bringing another child into this terrible world.” They’re not up their own asses about what everybody else ought to do. They do what they want to do for their own lives and they’re straightforward about it.
For the rest, click here.
Perhaps the most telling (and hilarious) are the butthurt commenters who are shocked…SHOCKED!!! That someone is pedestalizing (if that’s not a word, it should be) black women.
“Ew. Great way to fetish-ize. Any decent woman should and would be creeped out, regardless of her skin color.”
“Go on with your bad self and date some black women then. White men exclusively dating or wanting to date black women is racial fetishism. Fetishism is creepy. Just opinion, don’t be hurt.”
Geez. Everyone can have a preference–light skin, blonds, long hair, blue eyes, green eyes, Latina, Asian purple Martian–but GOD FORBID some guy says he prefers black women and OH. MY. GOD. Sound the alarms because all the concern is directed at people “fetishizing.”
The use of that term directed at the men who like to exclusively date and marry us is “othering” in itself if you think about it. Every other race of women can have their fanbase but if a black woman has one, then the men of that group must OBVIOUSLY be defective in some way, because who one earth would anyone prefer the “she-beast” that is a black woman?
And you know what I say to that?
Fuck those people.
Long live the black girl fan club.