Sometimes, you get a comment that’s so golden, it needs to be it’s own blog post. This came from a subscriber commenting on yesterday’s video about a young black woman intimidated by Asian women.
Can I just offer a different angle to this thing. PR. When you are a minority, PR is so important. The way the media portrays Asian women directly influences how Asian women are perceived. There are many many people who will go through their lives without ever having any significant relationship or even contact with a black woman. So what informs those people’s opinions about us? Media. The same goes for Asian women, their portrayal in media is what informs most people about them. And when I say media, I don’t just mean TV, all media including folklore. Asian women have the best PR after white women. The wonderful Asian woman didn’t come first, the PR did. Not knocking Asian women at all, but think about it… WW2 put Asian women on the map, before they had even been in the west long enough to get a reputation for good or bad. They were already seen as the mystical geisha. The quiet, submissive, sexually compliant geisha. That appealed to a lot of men in an era where modern women’s lib was starting to gain steam.
On top of starting at the high point of “geisha-desirability” Asian women have never had bad PR. Not even white women have escaped bad PR. Black women have terrible PR. We have a looong history of bad PR. From slavery and going back even further. I cannot express in words just how bad our PR is. It’s not that Asian women are more beautiful they just have much better marketing. Now that I’ve suggested a problem, might I suggest a solution… So what’s a girl to do? Think of yourself as a product and all men in the world as the market. As a black woman, you are a product that has had bad marketing but not bad results. Perhaps there is some overriding idea about you, like how Japanese cars had to overcome the stereotype that they were junk to gain decent market share globally. (Funny I should use Asian products as an example). So you’re trying to break into a market that’s saturated with two domineering products, like Apple and Samsung.
What I would suggest you do, is to go where your competition and your “bad cloud” is lightest. The over riding negative opinions on black women are your bad cloud. I think that at this moment in time, black American women are getting , how can I put it… “negative shine” in Europe. Because there are a lot of poor African women over there as refugees and many of them working as prostitutes, there has recently been created or recognized, a distinction between Black American women and black African refugee women. It’s unfortunate that this shine must come at the expense of our down trodden sisters but I say grab onto it.- And I’m African.
When I am in Europe, well dressed and well put together, nobody believes that I am African. They believe I am American. No matter how much I try to tell them. I am seen in a different light. I’m treated like a lady, men fall over themselves to be useful to me. Trust me, I am highly visible and in a positive way. I don’t club or go into shoddy neighbourhoods at night and always make sure I am dressed to high heaven, so I’ve never been mistaken for a prostitute. I am spoken to with respect, even if I don’t speak the language well, Italian- in this example. Compare this to Asian women in Europe, in Italy, I saw some Asian tourists, I didn’t hang out with them or anything, but I didn’t see them turning any heads either. They were a group of women of “marriageable age”. Not to say no one found them attractive, but the “geisha mystique” was not exported as much to Europe as it was to America. Option 1 You as a product, should go to a place where you can carve out your own slice of the market with all the advantages you can gather and as few of the disadvantages as possible.
I think Europe is a good place for a Black American woman to be right now. Option 2 If you insist on remaining local and want to battle it out in this market, you are going to have to seek out your market share. It will be very specific, or in other words niche. Niche market does not mean go find a Black Women Fetishizer’s Club. It means you are looking for a man with a certain kind of mentality. In short, you are looking for an independent thinker. One who is not so susceptible to PR and marketing as well as one who is not so beholden to societal norms. I can’t say exactly who this guy is but I know a good number of them do exist. A lot of them are independent business owners or creative types, contractors that sort of thing. Surprisingly, what I seem to be observing is that a lot of them aren’t liberals. As an outsider looking in, it appears as though the modern liberal is very much a follower. They all love the same things, all hate the same things, all think the same “free spirited” way. – gross generalization of course but if I were to put money on it, I’d say this niche market you’re looking for, a good portion of it may lie in the conservative guy demographic. Now remember, every time you feel insecure about Asian women, it’s just marketing. Know your worth.
Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our You Tube channel. And if you want to be a little moreabout this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.