Pop Culture

Black Women, Forgiveness and Chris Brown

Written by Nicole J.

Kelly Rowland recently posted on noted abuser Chris Brown’s Instagram saying “we love you Chris” following the latest furor surrounding his comments on only fucking with black bitches with nice hair. Who the “we” she is referring to remains unclear, but I know it’s not me. I have seen comments pleading for black women to forgive Chris for his latest statement, to give him another chance, saying things like we need to watch what we say about him because he is clearly in a dark (but not too dark) place and our words may drive him to harming himself. You know, the typical excuse making fare only afforded to black men and rarely, if ever, black women.

I don’t follow this dude, but hasn’t he had multiple chances, like, repeatedly? He’s got a solid fan base, still sells records, and despite being banned from entering New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom due to his criminal record, he still sells out concerts worldwide. That sounds like quite a few chances to me. Funny how the government of three foreign countries are doing a better job of holding Chris accountable than us…

It blows my mind the lengths some black women will go to, to defend men who have clearly stated they don’t like you, wouldn’t pick you, and wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire (except maybe R. Kelly).   Why? What do you gain from littering comment sections on social media with pleas to support a male with a documented history of mistreatment of black women? Chris Brown has not only been charged with felony assault, but has been in and out of jail and rehab over the years for a variety of other offenses. Isn’t the best predictor of future behavior past behavior? Do you not see how uplifting and begging on behalf of men who have said they don’t want you or have denigrated your image makes you look bad?

What about the opposite scenario? Have there been many black men begging for forgiveness on behalf of black women who have screwed up? Take for instance Chrisette Michelle, who was pretty much wholly, completely, thoroughly and permanently #cancelled after singing at one of Donald Trump’s inauguration events. Have there been any concerted efforts to welcome her back after doing something as innocuous as singing for an (admittedly not-well-liked) president? Nope, both black men AND women turned on her and she has been blacklisted, and I haven’t heard hide nor hair of her in a long time. Ciara had a baby by a bum and moved on to a winner in Russell Wilson, but she is still getting dogged for having chosen Future in the first place. No excuses for her…Meanwhile Kanye can meet with the very same president wearing a Make America Great Again hat, and will still have the collective love and support of black people, buying his overpriced clothes while offering him an excuse. Hmm.

Other people are saying that it’s not a big deal, and in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t. But when people are making money off disparaging my image, I take offense, as do many other black women, as is our right to do. Withdrawing support on a collective level shows that we are not a group of women to be trifled with, and where we go, so do our dollars, cents, pounds, euros, and yen. You can have your preferences, but there’s no need to put down women who fall outside that preference, either. By withdrawing support, it shows other men with a microphone that black women will not be made into targets for your latest venture. You don’t like me, but my money is accepted? Nah. Blogs like this one show women that it’s perfectly fine not to support males who disrespect your image.

On another note, why are people, black women in particular, so hell bent in gaining absolution of black men’s sins? Maybe it’s because she feels guilt for raising the boy into a monster, so if her sister in the black female collective forgives him, she too will feel forgiven for releasing her spawn to devour and destroy with reckless abandon. I don’t know, but what I do know is that black women are not nearly as forgiving of each other than the men.

Until we really withdraw support from males like Chris, these incidents will continue to happen, because black women will always turn the other cheek if a black male is doing the dirty deed, even to our own detriment.

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