Man! I’ve been wondering what she’s been up to, and boy oh boy! I’ll just shut up and let her tell you:
Long time, no hear – I know, but I’ve been a little bit busy.
First, let me update you on what’s been happening since I accepted my new
job here in SF. I found a nice place (but expensive, of course) in the
Pacific Heights section of SF right in the middle of lots of Muni stops, a
movie theatre, lots of restaurants, a dog park, a couple of dry cleaners, my
bank, two great grocery stores, great yoga studio and gym, lots of other
stores, etc., and all within four blocks of my apartment. I can walk to
I am already married. You know I didn’t want to wait on that any longer,
once the offer was made, so we were married in a small ceremony here. I am
so happy I hardly know what to do with myself these days. I waited a long
time for that to happen. My HUSBAND (I love saying that, I can’t help it) is
back in D.C. now, and that is killing both of us, but he will be out here
for good in February, regardless of whether he has a job here or not. It’s
quite possible (probable, at this point) that he is going to have to take
just any job he can get in his field out here, even if he has to go down a
level or two, but being together is what is important. Because, we are
newlyweds, and frankly, momma has needs (grin). No, it’s not just that
(wink). We’re married; we should be together, right?
Speaking of relationships, some of you may recall that I had a little dinner
party before I left the East Coast where I invited, among others, three
single black women and three single white men with the purpose of expanding
their respective personal interracial dating universes. My intent was
unknown to them; it is still unknown to them because I haven’t told any of
them of the setup. All of them think it is merely a coincidence, and that’s
if they’ve thought about it at all. Okay, so I piqued your interest with
that, and then the last update I gave was this (in quotes):
“BTW, apropos of swirling, and apropos of an East Coast location, and,
flashing back to the party I threw and the fallout, my friend and my
significant other’s friend that met and set up a date as a result of that
thing have now gone out twice more since the first date. I think it’s
actually kind of hot and heavy now. How about that?
And, my two friends that were at the party and got invited, and then went
to, a jazz concert with a large group of people including one of the guys
from the party, well, one of them met a another, different guy within that
larger group, and they went out after the show, and have another date
tonight. The very same woman (who is the one I described as the Earth Mother
black hippie chick), also went to a farmer’s market last weekend with the
guy from the party she gave her email address to there at the party. I guess
you can’t call the farmers market a date, but at least she’s working her
options. And I can’t take credit for the date she did get with the guy at
the jazz concert, but she did get that invite to the show from being at my
dinner party, so that’s something positive.
So that leaves only one woman out from the group of three single women I
invited. She was the other one of the two that went to the jazz concert.
Nothing cooking with her so far, and she is also the most attractive of any
of us. Figure that one out. She is the one that my guy’s buddy pronounced as
very interesting and beautiful, and asked him where we had been hiding her,
but his buddy has said nothing and done nothing since that comment.”
That was October 31.
The new update, as of this morning’s emails and phone calls, for those of
you that are interested, is this:
The first couple is super-serious. Honest-to-God, they are now discussing
marriage. I think that’s a little quick, but who am I to say? They are
really in love. So I think that counts as a success.
The second woman (Earth mother black hippie chick) has been like a dating
machine since the party. She is now simultaneously, but casually, dating
three white guys. The guy she met at the jazz concert, the guy she went to
the farmer’s market with, and yet another guy who saw her somewhere with
when of those guys, figured she was swirl-friendly, and slipped her his
business card. So I think that’s a qualified success – she certainly
increased her pool of dating material, but nothing serious out of that
Now, the last woman, who was the odd one out in October, the loser of the
group. My husband’s friend never did make a move towards her, BUT, she did
meet one of my husband’s colleagues at a get-together at a watering hole my
husband had for me when I departed the East Coast in November, and I pretty
much dragged her along to, kicking and screaming because she just was not
interested in going. She met this co-worker of his there that night, who is
not one of his friends, but one of his peers, actually, so he makes a good
living, and he’s a smart, funny (dry humor) guy, and, voila, they hit it
off. He is not a handsome man, but he’s not ugly, he’s a big guy and in
great physical shape, but, most importantly, he is a great guy. But, it is a
huge mismatch in terms of looks because she is flat gorgeous and has a
wonderful personality, but, then again, there’s a mismatch on her end in
terms of intellect and earning power, so they both have their strengths and
bring those to the relationship. Let me tell you, she is loving life right
now. She emailed me that he gave her a beautiful bracelet and matching
earrings for Christmas, which certainly ain’t a bad sign. Am I right?
So I have to say that overall, that party has worked out for the first two
women and two of the guys. It didn’t do a blessed thing for the third woman,
but, c’est la vie. At least the roulette wheel spun in her favor before I
left, so I’m really happy for her.
If I’ve bored anyone with this update, sorry. I thought some of you might
find it interesting, and this will be the last update on these people you
don’t even know, I promise.
But, I’d definitely do it again, and, I am going to do it again, here in SF.
The positive effects are small compared to the overall need for more casual
mingling among non-black men that my sisters have – the need is great among
lots of sisters, and what I did only affected three of those women, but it’s
a tangible something, and I feel good about it. I did something for once
that helped another black woman realize her goals, instead of just talking
about it in an endless loop, so, yeah, I think I’ll do that again. It’s the
setup without the pressure of the setup! The key is definitely keeping the
setup part hidden out of sight, away from the guests. It is MERELY A
COINCIDENCE that many of the guests are single (vetted) black women and
single (vetted) white men. Hah, me and my schemes, I love it!
Anyway, ladies, I have to go now, but I’ll check back in with y’all later. I
don’t have the time during the day like I used to, so I’m on here a lot
less, but we’ll catch up later.