Black Women's Improvement Project (BWIP)

BWIP: Six Things Good Girls Can Learn from Bad Girls

Not sure you guys saw this in Madame Noire, but golly-gee, I want everyone one of my single BB&W Crew members to know about this list. BUT! Your’s Truly got an EXCLUSIVE audio interview with the author, and she gives more juicy details. It’ll be up next week.

Six Things Good Girls Can Learn from Bad Girls


Ever wonder why bad girls always get the guys, no matter how rachet they act, say or do? Tired of seeing your ‘frenemy’ dupe the dudes at the club when she’s already got a man blowing up her Blackberry?

Well dayum. I'm straight I even I wanna touch her ass.


So, why do bad girls get their pick and good girls are left to book clubs and sewing circles?

Just ask Carole Lieberman, M.D., a psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, and she’ll tell you there’s a winning formula bad girls use to snag their stable of men. Good girls–read and learn.


#1 Looks

Obviously, right? Men are visual creatures. But when Dr. Lieberman asked men why the hay-ell they stayed so long in a dead-end, destructive relationship, the FIRST thing they said was, “She was amazingly attractive.” So ladies, if you hope to be the object of a man’s desires, woo him in the way that only a sultry woman can. First, get yourself in shape (yoga and pilates will make a nickel bounce off your back-side). Know what clothes best fit and compliment your shape. Get your hair and make-up right, and you’ve got the that most important thing checked off the list.


#2 Dress

Take a look at what you’re wearing now. What does it say about you? Lieberman says the way you dress tells a man more about you before you can have him at “hello.” “[It] conveys a message about how confident you are and how interested you are in attracting men,” she says. “The more effort you put into looking alluring, the more it tells men that you appreciate yourself and think you’re worth going to the trouble of being stylish and well put-together.”


So if your go-to outfit is a pair of sloppy sweat pants and your old university t-shirt, you might want to expand your closet, or better, get a stylist. Here’s a cheap tip: Shabby Apple, the brainchild of clothing designer, Athelia Woolley, makes the some of the classiest and figure-complementing dresses I’ve ever seen. Her site has a feature–”Shop by Body-Type”–that works like your very own personal stylist.


But before you spend a king’s ransom on a new wardrobe, take inventory of what you already have. Martha Tomazin, certified image consultant, give free style tips on her site,


#3 Sex

No, no, we’re not suggesting you give out the ‘cookies’ like candy. Conveying the sense of a “promise” of maybe, possibly, getting the kitty is what make men pant for bad girls day in and all night. In her survey, Lieberman’s male subjects almost unanimously said that sexual attraction put them–and kept them–in hot pursuit. But when it does come down to…ehem…doing ‘the do,’ knowing how to pleasure a man orally makes them putty in your hands. “Just like women want to feel beautiful, men what to feel powerful–and having a woman pleasuring their private parts is every man’s fondest desire.” says Lieberman.


#4 Personality

This pretty-much sums it up: “Bad girls have tons of personality because in order to get a man to look up from his work or from another woman and follow them, they have to be the shiny new toy that glistens in the sunlight.” By the way, did you notice that personality is the fourth on the list? Yep.


#5 Lifestyle

Meaning, do you have a life? Lieberman says men admire women who have something else going on besides trying to make a relationship the center of their universe. Don’t have a hobby? You should get one. Learn a new language. Travel. Hang out with your girlfriends–men notice that kind of stuff.


#6 Come on Strong, then Back Off

This one is the BIGGIE. Read what is is here.

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