Child Abuse or Child Acting Out?

Abuse Detangle VideoThis post caused a firestorm on my Facebook page.  Very touchy in many aspects as the differing opinions descended down from a cyber sky. Natural hair care is a huge subject in black and interracial communities.  When this video first appeared on Youtube six years ago, people were appalled and even called this child abuse.  Yet some thought that the term abuse was overblown and unnecessary.

I am just as horrified now as I was when I first saw this video. All kinds of stories were bandied about as to the possible motives of the mother. They ranged from her simply being ghetto, to taking out anger on her biracial daughter due to the fact that father left or did not marry her.  I know as angry as I made my mom by not cooperating, I was never ever cursed.  I may have gotten popped on the ear, but again never cursed at all.

Some of the most simplest of posts causes an uproar. But I appreciate the differing opinions here. We all see something different. Whatever we believe, I think the mom really could and should employ some different tactics in making the process easier for herself and more importantly less painful and traumatic for the child. I have seen children act up something terrible, but I can’t imagine that this girl is faking. Maybe she doesn’t want her hair done but screaming like that and calling for her daddy and the response from the mom regarding said daddy is more telling than the video. This was a while back so I am hoping that this girl who is now a tween or teen has learned to do her own hair by now and is no longer experiencing episodes like this.

There seems to be some support for this abuse in the comments, but most are against this mother if that is what you want to call her.  And let’s not forget about the language.  As much as I hated to get my own hair washed and untangled, I can’t recall ever once my mother cursing me.  It is unimaginable that I would even consider speaking in such a manner to my own daughter as challenging as it was to untangle her hair at times.  When you take your time to use detangler products (when necessary and available) on hair with patience and love, you just don’t have these kinds of episodes.  Whatever the reason this woman offered, this poor baby was being tortured and there is no excuse for it.


Cross posted on Swirling and Marriage

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