Got this letter from a young girl recently…
I love your posts, have read your book and been keeping up with Beyond Black and White’s social media for a while now.
I am a black girl in my mid-20s, have never had a boyfriend, never been out on a date or been kissed. I’m currently finishing up my undergrad in Exercise Science and I’m on the track of going to physical therapy school. Personality-wise, I’m very introverted and quiet but, I enjoy good conversations in small groups of people I trust. I have a lot of different interests and hobbies such as writing, being physically active (ballroom dancing, Ultimate, martial arts, running, etc.) and reading.
Despite being part of a college ministry at my church and various student organizations on campus, no guy has ever shown romantic interest towards me and all the guys I’ve had feelings for didn’t feel the same way towards me. I’m starting to feel invisible. I don’t want to be attention-seeking, but I want to date, share my life with a special guy and get married someday. I’ve tried a few different online dating sites, but the costs turned me off.
Am I missing something? Is there any advice you can offer me or refer me to any articles??
Invisible in NE Ohio
She has also agreed to allow us to post her photo…
Here’s my take: This girl has a lot of great things going on with her–she’s fit, athletic, and going places. Looking at her photo, she’s also an extremely cute girl. Not familiar with Northeast Ohio, though, so you all might need to help me out with that part.
You are SUPER cute. You’re not going to need much work at all, but learning how to apply a little make up, and what colors work best with your skin tone will help you look and feel your best and is a wonderful confidence booster. Go to your nearest MAC makeup counter and make an appointment for a one-on-one make up artist so you can learn what to do. No need to go overboard, though. You need a basic look that can be worn lightly during the day and then be built upon in the evening.
As far as your body goes, fit is fabulous. That means you’re going to look amazing in figure complementing and feminine clothes, and since I have a feeling you’re on the modest side, I want to recommend my favorite online dress shop, Shabby Apple. The prices are a little steep for a college student, but I’m willing to help you out if you need it. 🙂
As far as your hair goes…I love it! Go on You Tube to discover how other black women have styled their locks, and what’s more adorable than that dress up yonder with a flower in your hair, pulled up into a bun? FANTASMO…
The suggestions I’m giving you are two-fold–men like pretty, shiny things. They are very visual creatures. The look I suggest would probably get you a lot of positive attention, but you can really only pull it off if you have confidence in yourself.
As far as attracting the opposite sex, I want you to do two things–look up my friend Matthew Hussey’s Get the Guy
coaching series here, or at the very least, buy the book
. Again, if you’re pressed for cash, I can arrange for you to get a copy.
Okay ladies, it’s your turn…take it away!!